


The Price We Choose

by Cornerverse



Series: EHSA AU [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst and Fluff, M/M, Several characters live AU, a decent amount of swearing, chapters will have warnings in author's notes, local protagonist learns to talk about things, mostly pg-13 when it comes to sexy scenes, occasional mood whiplash, tags to be added as characters/relationships appear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2019-10-25 18:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17730464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerverse/pseuds/Cornerverse
Summary: Edward Elric is aware that he has a lot of problems. The newest one being a boyfriend who is sharing his body with a Homunculus. Perhaps this can help with some of the other issues.





	1. Chapter 1

                “So, how are you doing?”

                From his spot on the ground, Edward glared up at him. After all, he’d decided to sit away from the ‘team’ for a while so he wouldn’t have to see him, to see a familiar face that looked so strange. His eyes the wrong color, and his teeth far too sharp. The worst part was the expressions, as they were so close to normal, but just different enough.

                “What do you care?” Ed demanded.

                “Well, that answers that,” Greed shrugged. “Angry. Though from what I remember that’s pretty normal for you. You’re kind of vicious for someone against killing.”

                “I thought you didn’t remember meeting me before your ‘new look’,” he said,

                “Give me a break,” he sighed. “I actually died in between that you know. What’d you say? ‘Trauma’s a hell of a drug’? Then again, was it memory loss, or some kind of reincarnation crap where I’m remembering a past life?”

                “Does it matter?” he wondered.

                “Probably not,” he said. “But it did get you to stop your murderface for a moment.”

                “If you want less ‘murderface’, try to be less of a bastard,” he said.

                “Well,” he mused. “Technically, as a Homunculus, I was made through Alchemy by a single creator. By definition, I literally cannot be a bastard. You on the other hand…”

                Ed glared once more before turning away and deciding to ignore him. Instead, he rolled up his sleeve and focused on his arm again.

                There wasn’t much he could do in terms of Automail maintenance right now, mostly just keeping too much dirt out of the joints. Next time the team passed by a town he’d have to pick up supplies for that. Usually skipping maintenance wouldn’t be an issue, as he tended to get in fights that broke his arm before that would catch up to him. But he had no idea when he’d see Winry again. If his arm or leg broke down before that, he’d be pretty useless.

                Those thoughts were interrupted by Greed’s presence over his shoulder. Realizing that he was too stubborn to go away, Ed paused and looked to him again. While they were slightly in the shadow of the trees, the campfire was enough to light him up. Seeing the way he looked in the orange glow only hurt more.

                “What do you want?” Ed asked, keeping his frustration down for now.

                “Everything,” Greed grinned. “That’s kind of my thing.”

                Ed rolled his eyes, but waited. Taking his time, Greed sat down beside him, leaning back against the tree to face him. Despite an attempt to look aloof and nonchalant, he eventually let out a sigh.

                “There’s not really any point in pretending,” Greed said. “You already know your friend’s still here, even if I’m the one in control now.”

                “Yes, I’m very aware of that,” Ed said. “Again, why do you care?”

                “I don’t,” he replied. “But your friend does. And the guy’s very stubborn.”

                “He has a talent for it,” he said, trying and failing to not give a smug smile.

                “He’s bugging me to check on you,” he said, ignoring the jab. “So, you know, how are you feeling and all that?”

                “As fine as I can be, given the situation,” he answered flatly.

                “Wow, even I could tell that was a lie,” he laughed. “Alright, don’t want to tell me. But I think he can figure out-”

                Frowning, Greed went silent for a moment. An eye roll and sigh later, he refocused.

                “How are you feeling physically?” Greed asked.

                “Physically?” Ed raised an eyebrow.

                “Are you hurt?” he asked. “Apparently there’s something with your energy or- wait, explain it again?”

                “Explain what?” he asked.

                “Not you,” he said, holding up a hand.

                “Is he actually talking to you right now?” he asked.

                “Rambling, actually,” he huffed. “And it’s hard to understand his technical talk when you’re talking.”

                “You could just repeat what he says,” he suggested. “I’d probably understand it well enough.”

                “Yeah, no,” he said. “Fuck this. I’m not playing telephone for you two.”

                Before Ed could say anything else, there was a shift. Greed’s posture relaxed a bit, his expression softening slightly. Yet the thing that held Ed’s attention was his eyes, watching as their color darkened.

                “That is a bit more convenient.”

                “Ling?” Ed guessed, feeling a spark light up.

                “For a while,” Ling answered with a smile. “So, how are you doing?”

                “As fine as I can be, given the situation,” he answered, the same line feeling different even to him.

                “You don’t have to pretend it’s fine,” he said.

                “I’m not,” he said. “We’re on a literal deadline, and I don’t even know where Al and Winry are. I know that. But there’s not much I can do.”

                “I know it’s not the same,” he said, “but I am worried about them too.”

                Ed nodded, wanting to say more, but unable to find the words just yet. Something brushed his left hand, making him jump. Finding that it was Ling’s hand, having gently taken his own, was not helping him figure out what to say.

                “There’s something specific bothering you, isn’t there?” Ling asked.

                Of course there was. Many specific things. Several that he couldn’t say out loud. Instead, he focused on things that didn’t have to do with the hand in his own.

                “Yeah,” Ed nodded. “Probably just a general separation anxiety. You might find it weird, considering your experience with siblings, but I’ve never been away from Al for this long. Other than, you know, before he was born. But that doesn’t count.”

                “Really?” Ling asked.

                “Longest we’ve been apart was maybe a few weeks,” he said. “Even then, I could still call him. I knew where he was. We’re better with it now, because we can be in different cities for a few days without panicking, but back when we were really young? Furthest we’d go was just the other room. It was a big thing when I got old enough to go to school.”

                “He refused to let you go without him?” he guessed.

                “We both did,” he smiled. “They made a deal with us; Al takes a test to see if he’d be able to keep up in class. It was supposed to be humoring us. He was supposed to fail, and they’d say ‘see, you’re a little young for school, you’d fail and feel bad! Let’s try again next year.’ Then-”

                “And then he passed,” he said.

                “With flying colors,” he said. “I remember watching them grade the test, ask him if he cheated somehow. And Al, just with this deadpan look, says ‘I already know how to work a basic transmutation circle. Addition isn’t that hard.’ and I was standing there cackling like mad.”

                “So, you two really were prodigies,” he said.

                “I guess,” he shrugged. “It just made sense to us, so we taught ourselves with the books we had. We didn’t find a teacher until later. Speaking of Al and I being inseparable, it took our teacher and everyone in Dublith about two months before they realized we weren’t twins!”

                “How does that take two months?” he wondered. “Do you two really look that similar?

                “Oh, right,” he said. “You never saw what Al looked like before… before the whole Armor situation. But we look pretty similar at first glance. We both have gold hair and eyes, a bit darker of a skintone, and few other features. You can see plenty of differences if you look past it, but by that point people already think we’re twins so they just go from ‘identical’ to ‘fraternal’ and don’t think about it much.”

                “I should have guessed,” he shook his head. “But for now, are you sure you’re alright?”

                “I told you, as alright as I can be,” he said.

                “You’re not…” he trailed off a bit. “You’re not hurt anywhere?”

                Ed straightened up, only now aware of how relaxed he had been. The question itself shouldn’t sound odd, but it felt specific considering the seriousness of his expression. Hadn’t Greed asked something similar?

                “I’m not injured right now,” Ed answered. “Do you think I should be?”

                “That sounds like you’re asking to get hurt,” Ling said, a bit of a smile slipping in.

                “You know what I mean,” he rolled his eyes.

                “I know,” he said, the serious expression returning. “But yes, you do seem hurt. Not your body, but your Soul Energy. It’s always been a bit off, probably a part of that ‘Soul Connection’ with Al I guess. But right now it seems as if a chunk was taken out of it.”

                “Oh,” he frowned. “I-I know what you’re talking about. Just don’t freak out.”

                Reluctantly taking his hand back, his fingers gripped the hem of his shirt. Lifting it up, he exposed the marks on his side. It was mostly healed, no danger of reopening anymore, but it left large scars. He jumped again as Ling’s fingertips brushed against his skin.

                “Sorry,” Ling muttered. “Does it hurt?”

                “Not anymore, really,” Ed said. “There’s one on the back too.”

                The shock was less from pain and more the who and where. Ling’s hand was warm, strangely warm. At least it was strange to Ed, as his own body temperature was unusually high and he wasn't used to the feeling. However, he was sure Ling’s had been lower before. Perhaps it was just another side effect of the Philosopher’s Stone in his body.

                “What happened?” Ling asked.

                “Fell down an exploding mineshaft,” Ed said. “There was a metal pole that just…”

                “Ed…” he whispered.

                “Not my best plan,” he admitted. “I- I almost died. That’s not really new to me. I’ve lost count of how many near-death experiences I’ve had. But this time, I wasn’t just near death, I was dying. I- I should’ve died. Alchemy alone couldn’t save me, so I gave it a boost.”

                “Your Soul Energy,” he said.

                “Just like a Philosopher’s Stone,” he said. “I used that to heal myself. Even then it was barely enough, I still had to get to a doctor. I’m not even sure if there are long-term effects, but for now I’m still here, even if part of my Soul is used up.”

                “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said. “But your Soul Energy… it’s hard to describe. It’s not just that there’s less of it, but it’s like it’s still active. As if it’s trying to fix itself.”

                “Fix itself?” he parroted. “That shouldn’t be possible. You can’t just make more Soul Energy.”

                “I’m not sure-” he stopped and frowned. “Hold on, I think Greed knows the answer to this one.”

                While Ed hated the cold feeling it left, he was glad that Ling took his hands back before the switch. His eyes turned color and his form straightened back into Greed’s more stiff and distant posture.

                “Is that what you were worried about?” Greed rolled his eyes. “You could’ve said that instead of giving me your life story!”

                “Probably thought you needed context,” Ed said. “You are the idiot who didn’t know how your own abilities work.”

                “See, that’s what I was talking about earlier,” he said. “Actual insults. Call me an idiot all you want, it’s more applicable than ‘bastard’.”

                “Weren’t you popping back in for a reason?” he asked, debating on the ‘murderface’ again.

                “Yeah, just let me figure out how to say it,” he said. “He’s right, your Soul Energy is trying to fix itself. And it will, it’s just taking some time.”

                “That doesn’t even make sense,” he said. “If it was used like a Philosopher’s Stone, it should be gone.”

                “It’s different because you’re alive,” he said. “Think of it… think of it like blood. Actually pretty accurate since that’s the only way to get usable Soul Energy out of a normal-”

                “Blood?” he repeated.

                “Do you like interrupting me?” he glared. “Anyway, yes, like blood. You have a decent amount of blood, and you can lose some. Wait a while, and your body will replace what you lost. Lose too much at once, and you’ll die. But as long as your Soul is alive it’ll regenerate. You should probably not try it again though. Especially since your Soul-Connection to your brother is pretty much the Soul version of a constant blood transfusion right now.”

                “How can I trust that you know what you’re talking about?” he demanded. “Remember, you were the one who-”

                “Who didn’t know how my own abilities worked,” he finished. “I know, I know. I’m a Homunculus. Unless I learn it on my own, my knowledge is limited to what I was created knowing. Since dear old dad doesn’t trust me, that’s a need to know basis. I didn’t need to know how the Shield works, just how to do it. But considering how much of the ‘plan’ revolves around how Philosopher’s Stones work…”

                “I hate that that made sense,” he shook his head. “Can I go back to talking to Ling now?”

                “What, you don’t like seeing my pretty face?” he teased.

                “Actually, it’s Ling’s pretty face,” he corrected.

                Greed blinked in surprise, then gave a cat-like grin.

                “Well, since you agree that it’s a pretty face,” Greed said.

                Ed could feel his face heat up at the realization that, yes, he did just say that. It only got worse as Greed’s snickering melted into Ling’s laugh. It also gave him time to notice that while their eye color changed depending on who was in control, Ling still had Greed’s sharp fangs.

                He tried really hard to not focus on that.

                “On the bright side,” Ling said, his laughter subsiding, “now we know you’re fine.”

                “At least there’s that,” Ed mumbled. “But speaking of, how are you doing? It can’t be easy dealing with Greed all the time.”

                “He’s actually not that bad,” he said.

                It was difficult to not give him an exasperated look. Ultimately, Ed failed and just stared at him.

                “He’s not,” Ling protested.

                “You are being possessed by the embodiment of one of the Seven Deadly Sins,” Ed said. “That doesn’t seem like a ‘good’ thing!”

                “I didn’t say I liked being possessed,” he replied. “Just that Greed himself isn’t so bad. It’s actually rather interesting to experience. I can talk directly to him, but we also each have our own thoughts. We can feel what the other is feeling though, which can get pretty strange sometimes.”

                “I’ll refrain from judgment for the moment,” he said.

                “The experience has also given me insight on other subjects,” he said. “I’ve had time to reflect on some life choices.”

                While he wanted to make a sarcastic comment about that, Ed stayed silent. The expression Ling gave him was too serious, too vulnerable, that even he knew it was better to keep his mouth shut.

                Once more, Ling took his hand. Once more, Ed found his breath catch and his heart jump. He tried to focus on anything else, telling himself it didn’t mean anything, if only to keep from melting.

                “Some things, I never chose,” Ling said. “I was always in the competition to become Emperor. By the time I was old enough to understand that, I did have a choice. Play the game, or renounce my place in the competition. I chose to play, for so many reasons. Some selfish reasons.

                “But there were things I chose to give up,” he continued. “It was just part of what was necessary. If I want to be Emperor, to change Xing for the better, I would have to want only that. I was okay with it, with unhappiness, because everyone I cared for would have that for themselves. Then… Then Lan Fan lost her arm.”

                “That wasn’t your fault,” Ed said, not correcting him in whose fault really it was.

                “Debatable,” Ling replied. “But after that, I decided I had to do more. I had to be willing to give up anything, everything, to get what I wanted. Even if I had to give up myself. I had to be fine with the fact that others could die for me, would die for me. I shouldn’t care about what happens to anyone else as long as I made it back to Xing. Then I realized who I sounded like.”

                “Who?” he asked.

                “Wrath,” he answered, his voice almost a growl. “During our fight, after he ruined Lan Fan’s arm, he asked me why I tried to save her. Said that I should just leave her and make it easy for me to get away.”

                “Jackass,” he muttered.

                Ling nodded, letting silence take them for a moment. Anger was replaced by something else. It wasn’t sadness. Not quite. But the expression he gave looked so sure of himself, so calm and simple as if everything made sense.

                “I’ve decided something,” Ling said, breaking the quiet. “I’m not going to sacrifice anything. Whether it be lives or just things we want, I’m not letting any of us give up anything.”

                “You know it doesn’t work like that,” Ed said. “There’s no such thing as a painless lesson. Equivalent Exchange, and all that.”

                “Well then,” he smiled. “It’s a good thing I’m not an Alchemist!”

                “You know what I mean,” he said, laughing despite the mood.

                “I do,” he said. “And you’re right. Life isn’t fair, and some things will be out of my control. But those I can control? I can choose my ‘price to pay’. The price is that it will be a bit more difficult to fight for all I want, but no one else will have to sacrifice what they want either.”

                “Fighting to get all you want,” he repeated. “If you want to talk about sounding like the Homunculi, now you’re starting to sound like Greed.”

                “Maybe I am,” he shrugged. “He and I do have some similarities when it comes to that subject.”

                “But you’re Human,” he said.

                “True,” he said. “And the thing I know about Humans, something he agrees on, is that we don’t work on a system of ‘give and take’. Some do, of course. And there are also those that take and take, without regard for anyone else. But above all, Humans give far more than they take.”

                “We give as much as we can,” he said, looking away.

                “We give everything,” he corrected. “In a way, I’m still working on a system of give and take. I’ll give all I can to those I care for, so that they can be safe and happy without sacrifice. However, I will take all that I want, allow myself happiness I never thought I could have.”

                “And what is it you do want?” he asked.

                This time, Ed felt Ling’s hand on the side of his face, turning him back to face him. When did he get that close? He felt his heartbeat rise with both panic and something else, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to speak. All he could think of was how good he smelled. Though there was the lingering smell of campfire smoke, Ling’s own scent was different, like a forest after heavy rain.

                “I can think of something,” Ling said, smiling softly as he leaned ever closer.

                If Ed thought he’d been a bit of a mess earlier, it was nothing compared to how he reacted to the kiss. He mostly just stopped, overloaded with emotions. Was he even breathing anymore?

                At this point, he got stuck in a loop. Every time he calmed enough to process what just happened, it kicked in and overloaded him again. Focus on something else, anything else. Try to breathe.

                “I kind of expected to get punched for that,” Ling smiled. “Though, seeing you turn bright red and mutter what I assume was a lot of Alchemy terms is a good trade off.”

                “Sh-shut up,” Ed muttered, barely able to form a sentence.

                “Don’t tell me that was your first kiss,” he said, almost teasing.

                “No,” he admitted, still quiet. “Just-just please tell me this isn’t another one of your games. Like breaking into my hotel room or whatever.”

                “Do you really think I’d do that?” he asked.

                There was a certain frown on Ling’s face, an emotion Ed couldn’t quite place. Obviously he’d asked the wrong question there. Even if he’d wanted to say yes, the look would make him lie.

                “No,” Ed said. “I’m just being pessimistic, so let me ask questions.”

                “For a pessimist you’re pretty optimistic,” he said.

                “And that’s an oxymoron,” he replied, finding snark easier than really talking.

                “Call yourself what you want,” he smiled. “I mean it. You can say the most cynical things, yet no matter the situation we get in, you keep trying to find a way out. It’s like you can do anything.”

                “I can’t do ‘anything’,” he said. “There’s plenty I haven’t been able to-”

                “And there’s the pessimism,” he interrupted. “And I know you can’t literally do anything. I’m not talking about skill or luck or anything like that. It’s your fiery determination. Once you decide to do something, you don’t give up until you get it.”

                “Or prove it’s impossible,” he said.

                “Or that,” he nodded. “And even then, you still try. I noticed it when we first met, really. You were interesting, for several reasons. I didn’t quite realize how much I had fallen for you until we were in a Literal Hell Pit, and you were still fighting to get out.”

                “If you-,” he swallowed. “If you felt that way, why did you let yourself get stuck with Greed?”

                He didn’t answer at first. Ling stared at the mark on his left hand, as if it held all the answers. His other hand gripped Ed’s more, perhaps in an attempt to reassure him.

                “I told you,” Ling said. “There were things I thought I had to give up. If this were simple, just because you were pretty, it would be easier to ignore. At most, maybe just a bit of fun.”

                While Ed had been coming down from his last round of blushing, he quickly felt it come back at that mental image.

                “But this is real,” Ling continued, not noticing. “I thought that if I gave in to what I felt, I would give up on becoming Emperor. That making this real, being with you, would make it impossible to go back. You know what that’s like, right? Giving up your own happiness to help everyone else.”

                “Yeah,” Ed said, thinking of far too many moments.

                “But I’ve decided to try for both,” he said. “Because I know that if we decide- if you want to do this, we can figure something out.”

                Part of Ed was screaming that it was a bad idea. He knew far too well about giving things up to help those he cared about, even at the price of his own happiness. That was what he’d believed in, that there was a price to pay.

                But the part that was thinking only of here and now? That small bit of him that wasn’t thinking of everything that was happening or everything that had happened? He realized that as irrational as it should be, it was the most rational decision to make.

                “At some point,” Ed began, his voice shaking a little. “At some point, something changed. I was pretty loud about what I thought of you when we met.”

                “I believe the nickname ‘idiot prince’ was tossed around more than once,” Ling said.

                “Yeah, well, maybe that one’s still the same,” he laughed. “But between all of that, I saw something else. Your own sort of fiery determination I guess. Seeing how much you care about people, what you’ll do to help others. Even if it’s stupid, or could get you killed.”

                “Like getting possessed?” he said, giving that stupid smile again.

                “Even that bout of stupidity,” he said. “You seem like the type to always go overboard. Go big or go home, right?”

                “I have been known for a dramatic flare,” he admitted.

                Ed laughed in agreement, shifting a bit closer as he did. Ling still felt far too warm, but it was oddly comforting. While the whole situation made him feel a bit giddy, something else blossomed in his chest. Or maybe ‘settled’ was a better word for how it felt.

                “You can do it again, you know,” Ed said.

                “Do what?” Ling asked, perhaps feigning innocence.

                “The, uh, the kiss part,” he said.

                “Sure you won’t crash on me again?” he teased.

                “That was only because I wasn’t expecting-” he tried to defend.

                Of course, he realized it had been a setup when he was cut off with another kiss. It didn’t completely overload him this time, but Ed did freeze for a moment. In the next moment, he found himself returning the kiss, deepening the kiss.

                Both moved, trying to get a better angle. Hands reaching up and grabbing the collar of Ling’s coat, Ed tried to pull him somehow closer, though he only ended up nearly in Ling’s lap. Meanwhile, Ling’s hands found their place on Ed’s back; One in between the shoulder blades, the other at the small of his back, both pulling him in just as much.

                While his emotions were a bit more under control, the physical sensations were just this side of overwhelming. If he hadn’t been able to feel every movement already, Ling’s body heat was making it all the more noticeable. The kiss tasted sweet, with a little bit of something unidentifiable, the kind that makes one curious enough to taste it again.

                They broke apart, pausing to catch their breath. Still only an inch or two away. He could see Ling’s expression, a different smile than his usual over-enthusiastic grin. Still a bit silly, but far more calm. Ed was sure his own expression mirrored that. The feeling was ridiculous, and fluttery, and somehow normal.

                Just as Ed was deciding to pull him back for another round, those eyes switched to purple.

                “You two are adorable!” Greed grinned at him.

                “Son of a bitch!” Ed swore, pushing off of him and landing hard in the dirt.

                “I sure am!” he agreed, readjusting his coat. “Although, I was going to let your little soap opera go on a bit longer. Not sure why- I was in the middle of something you- How’d you do that!?”

                It was so quick that Ed had almost missed it. Ling had switched in for a moment, but went back so quickly that he wasn’t even sure their eyes had changed colors.

                “What are you doing exactly?” Ed asked, resigning himself to the fact that the moment was killed.

                “I’m not sure what he’s doing,” Greed answered.

                “Because I’m obviously the one doing this!” Ling switched in. “Do you really think I’m going to just let you take over mid-makeout session!”

                Ling continued for a minute, but Ed didn’t quite catch what he said. It was another language, likely Xingese all things considering. Though a few words sounded familiar, he couldn’t quite translate.

                “Is it weird that I understood that?” Greed asked. “Can’t read your language, but apparently I can translate the spoken version. Man, you have got a mouth on you.”

                There was another string of what Ed assumed to be Xingese swearing.

                “If you would listen for a moment-” Greed tried to say.

                “As long as you don’t start on another ‘everything is mine’ speech,” Ling countered, somehow glaring at himself.

                “Not for this subject matter,” he said. “I was going to point out that I wasn’t actually trying to take over just then. Yes, I was being a dick and teasing you about your entertaining relationship, but I wasn’t trying to cockblock.”

                “That’s not-” Ed protested, once more turning a bit red.

                “Then how did you-” Ling started to ask.

                “That’s what I’m asking!” Greed said. “And you’re doing it too, I think.”

                “Hold up!” Ed cut in. “Are you two just switching control depending on who wants to talk?!”

                “Apparently?” Ling said.

                “Not sure why, but yes,” Greed frowned. “That’s inconvenient.”

                The two kept switching back and forth, which made Ed slightly concerned over what he got himself into.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait until Valentine's day but I was excited to post this.

                Ed had no idea how this group happened. Well, he did. Because he was a part of the group and, despite what Greed said, the actual leader of the group. But it sounded like the setup to a bad joke. “An Alchemist, a Xingese Prince possessed by an Immortal embodiment of Sin, and two Chimeras are on the run and camping in the woods...”

                It was odd to say, but they had fallen into somewhat of a routine. They’d managed to snag tents a while back, so once they decided to stop for the night they split the work. Two set up the campsite and two gathered supplies, changing teams around at random in spirit of ‘fairness’.

                Usually that just meant gathering firewood, but some nights they did hunt. Heinkel was the best hunter out of the group, being a Lion Chimera. Ed usually set up a couple traps near the campsite, which led to an interesting time convincing them that he was being honest about how he learned that. Oddly enough, Greed had some decent hunting skill too. Said he learned from other Chimeras he had known, even if he didn’t have the natural instincts for it.

                The traps could be checked in a bit, so for now Ed and Heinkel carried arms full of firewood back to where the tents were set up. They heard the arguing from a while away. As they got closer, they realized it was just bickering.

                At least camp was set up. They found Darius with his head hanging in his hands, though he looked up when he heard them approach. His expression was far too tired and exasperated.

                “They’ve been at it for twenty minutes,” Darius groaned, gesturing to their other members.

                As of last night, Greed and Ling seemed unable to have a quiet conversation anymore. Literally. Every time one of them spoke, they took control of the body. It was interesting to watch the switch, their entire body language shifting each time. Both had an air of confidence, dramatics, and moved a lot as they talked. However, Ling’s movements were more purposeful and used for emphasis, while Greed just seemed unable to keep his hands still.

                “He looks like an over enthusiastic theatre kid trying to play both of the bickering romantic leads,” Heinkel commented.

                Ed and Darius gave him a look. However, if the ‘bickering romantic leads’ noticed, they didn’t say anything. They were too invested in their petty conversation.

                “Look, I’m not saying you should be a blonde,” Ling said. “I’m just asking why you’re not!”

                “This was your body!” Greed countered. “You’re not a blonde!”

                “You changed my eyes and teeth!” he insisted. “And I don’t even know how we’re switching between voices right now!”

                “Actually your eyes change all the time too,” Ed cut in.

                That got their attention, actually making them go quiet and look at him for further explanation.

                “They change depending on who’s in charge,” Ed clarified. “I actually find it interesting that despite the other switches, your teeth don’t change back and forth.”

                “How’d you notice that?” Darius asked.

                “Alchemists notice small details,” he answered.

                Ed was going to say something else, but he noticed the look he was getting. The grin made him think it was Greed, but those were definitely Ling’s eyes looking at him. For some reason, the expression made his face heat up. Never before was Ed so grateful for Greed’s habit of interrupting things.

                “Okay, that aside,” Greed said. “Why do you think I’d be blonde?”

                “Your dad’s blonde,” Ling shrugged.

                “That’s not-” he stopped and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m a Homunculus. I was created through Alchemy, not sex, so there were no genetics passed down. I was literally designed to look the way I look. Unless we were Human-based, Father designed all of our forms. The only exception is Envy, since they can shapeshift and choose their look. Their problem is just their terrible fashion taste!”

                “You’re going to insult your sibling’s fashion taste?” Heinkel asked.

                “Look, I’m not wrong,” he insisted. “Imagine someone in a sleeveless turtleneck crop top and a skort! Doesn’t even wear actual shoes, just socks with the toe and heel cut off. And don’t even get me started on their hair. Palm tree looking fuck!”

                “I don’t think you have any right to criticize fashion choice,” Ed smirked. “Your first look was wearing leather pants and a fur collared vest.”

                That got a surprised wheeze of laughter from the Chimeras.

                “Like you have the right,” Greed retorted. “Your signature outfit was also leather pants and that bright red coat!”

                “He’s got a point,” Ling mused. “The coat is very ‘look at me’.”

                “You can’t trash anyone’s fashion either!” Ed snapped. “When we met, you were wearing a bright yellow jacket with white flame patterns!”

                “Yellow is the color of royalty in Xing!” he defended.

                “That doesn’t explain why you didn’t wear a shirt!” he exclaimed. “Even when Mustang gave you one, you refused to button it up! It took you getting possessed to actually put on a shirt!”

                Ling’s reply was in Xingese, but the tone and teasing smile was enough for Ed to guess it’s translation.

                “You know what?” Greed cut them off. “Maybe we all have some odd outfit choices. Can we at least all agree we have better fashion taste than Envy?”

                “Fine,” Ed sighed.

                “Speaking of Envy!” Ling said, popping in again with a too cheery smile. “What was up with the void?”

                “What void?” he asked.

                “Remember how we were in the Literal Hell Pit?” he asked. “Then we showed up in the underground lair? There was something weird between that.”

                “Weird,” he parroted. “Regular weird, ‘anything you’ve seen since meeting me’ weird, or...”

                He tried to explain what kind of ‘weird’ he meant, but the only thing he could get across were wiggly hand gestures. As he did, a few puzzle pieces clicked into place, remembering the last time he did that to describe something. Remembering what he did to get them out of that situation.

                Oh. No, that couldn’t possibly-

                “A little bit of the second category, but mostly the third,” Ling said. “It was a bunch of nothingness except for a white figure that sounded kinda pissed and a set of doors. Somehow wonderful and downright terrifying at the same time.”

                That description was shocking enough that Greed took over just to stare in confusion and blink at him. Ed only returned the stare, trying to process that information.

                “Did he just describe the fucking Gate?” Greed asked.

                “It was more of a door,” Ling corrected.

                “Not ‘a gate’, ‘The Gate’,” Ed rubbed his face. “The Gate of Truth.”

                “That’s something important, right?” he asked.

                “Hell yeah it is,” Greed said, still staring in slight shock. “Basically you trade something to that thing and get some of the ultimate knowledge of the universe.”

                “You say that so casually,” Heinkel said.

                “Listen, ‘casual’ is all I’ve got here,” he shrugged. “I’m confused as to how that even happened. How’s a guy who’s not an Alchemist even get to the Gate anyway?”

                “Have an Alchemist open it for you?” Ling offered.

                Naturally, Greed looked over to the only Alchemist in the group. A raised eyebrow was the only question he gave.

                “Okay, yes, that is technically what happened,” Ed admitted. “We kind of ended up in Gluttony’s stomach. Which is, as stated, a Literal Hell Pit.”

                “I’m not even going to ask,” Darius sighed, hanging his head again.

                “Even I’m considering that weird,” Greed said. “And I actually know what you’re talking about. Unfortunately.”

                “Anyway,” Ed said, putting off the existential crisis of what his life has become. “Ling and I were stuck in there with Envy. I realized that the only way to get us out of there was to, well, go through the Gate. Thankfully Envy was feeling cooperative, so I used their Philosopher’s Stone to pay the Toll and get us all through. Right after that we got into the whole you situation so I kind of forgot about it.”

                “I’m beginning to realize how much I underestimated you,” he said, still surprised. “I realized that the second I actually saw you, but being able to open the Gate twice? It’s difficult enough to do once.”

                “Actually, that was the third time,” he sheepishly admitted.

                And there was the dumbfounded stare again.

                “Seriously?!” Greed demanded. “Okay, I can understand the first time. Because that’s how everyone ends up at the Gate. And you already explained the Hell Pit, but that’s an extreme situation. Why the everloving fuck would you be crazy enough to go to the Gate again?”

                As soon as he asked, he seemed to regret it. Ed guessed it was probably because of his reaction. He had turned away, clenching his hands so hard in an attempt to not throw a punch. It was a fair question, he shouldn’t be angry at it being asked. Yet it still made him shake.

                “You don’t have to tell him,” Ling said, thankfully taking over.

                “I know that,” Ed said. “I don’t have to tell anyone anything.”

                As he said it, he glanced at Heinkel and Darius, trying to glare less than he did at Greed. Thankfully both Chimeras got the message, not looking anywhere close to asking.

                “Huh,” Greed said, his voice a bit more thoughtful and calm this time. “Guess it doesn’t take a genius to puzzle that one out once I stop and think about it.”

                “At least you’re not a complete idiot,” Ed said, figuring that was the closest to an apology he’d get.

                “I think that’s actually the nicest thing you’ve said to me,” he said. “Keep that up and maybe you’ll actually give me a compliment!”

                “Don’t hold your breath,” he said.

                “I can live with that,” he shrugged. “Literally. If I suffocate, I’d just come back. I’d prefer not to though. It’s probably one of my least favorite deaths.”

                “Again,” Heinkel said. “You say that so casually.”

                “It was eighty years ago,” he waved it off.

                “I don’t want to experience it then,” Ling switched in. “What I do want to know, is does that whole ‘going through the Gate’ thing have any side effects?”

                “Sort of?” Ed answered. “I don’t know. You’re not an Alchemist.”

                “Sentences like that are what make Alchemy sound like Witchcraft,” Darius said.

                “It’s not ‘Witchcraft’, just skill,” he rolled his eyes. “Technically, everyone has the ability to become an Alchemist. Just like everyone technically has the ability to become a Doctor. You need to study a hell of a lot and know what you’re doing.”

                “I never had much luck with Alkahestry,” Ling said, glancing at the Chimeras’ confusion. “Oh, Alkahestry is a branch of Alchemy that mixed with Xingese techniques. I tried to learn when I was younger, but never got much further than feeling the Energy Flow from it.”

                “Exactly,” Ed said. “I guess you could learn now, if you wanted to. Because the only side effect I noticed...”

                As a demonstration, he decided to go for a classic. A simple clap of his hands, and he transmuted his Automail arm into a blade.

                “I don’t need to draw the transmutation circle,” Ed explained, gesturing with the blade. “I still have to know what I’m doing, but I can skip that step.”

                “Interesting,” Ling mused. “Completely wasted on me though. Any chance I managed to snag some ridiculous sword technique instead?”

                “I don’t think so,” he laughed. “Doesn’t seem like the place for it.”

                “As I always say,” Greed said. “There’s no such thing as no such thing. Maybe you could trade something for sword skill if you negotiated.”

                “Sure,” he said. “Next time I end up there, I’ll just negotiate my way out.”

                “What else is there to lose?” he shrugged.

                “Another limb!” he replied, gesturing once more with the bladed arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have only two jokes with Envy but by god I will use them. (I'm nicer to them in a different fic but here it's a no.)
> 
> Also I've been screaming about this chapter on Tumblr for literal months so...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames, languages, and a little bit of history!

                “How about you put the shield down?” Ed demanded.

                “Not if you’re going to stab me again,” Greed answered.

                “Then put me the hell down!” he shouted.

                “Like I’m doing this for fun,” he scoffed. “You’re heavier than you look.”

                “It’s called having two metal limbs, jackass!” he replied. “Now put me down!”

                Ed suddenly found himself dropped on the ground. Fair, he asked for it. Still, he glared up at Greed while Heinkel and Darius caught their breath.

                “This is what I get for trying to be nice,” Greed sighed dramatically.

                “I was fine!” Ed said.

                “I know you can fight, but against multiple pissed off bears?” he said. “At least I have regeneration and the Ultimate Shield. Those two are a lion and a gorilla, a much better match for bears.”

                “I’ve fought worse than bears,” he said. “Like the rest of your family.”

                “True, but running was the best option considering a lack of nearby hospitals,” he retorted. “And you’re the slowest runner here.”

                “You know, we shouldn’t even be having this conversation,” he said, looking to the Chimeras. “How did neither of you realize we were in bear territory? Shouldn’t you have smelled them or something?”

                “I didn’t know what bear smelled like,” Heinkel said. “Something smelled off, but it could’ve been a bunny nest for all I knew.”

                “Well, now we know,” Greed said.

                “And what about Ling’s energy sense?” Ed asked. “Didn’t that tell you there were bears?”

                “It doesn’t work like that,” Ling shrugged as he switched in. “Animal energy isn’t as specific as Humans or Homunculi. Even Chimeras are more specific. I knew there were animals but not what kind.”

                Glaring at the group, Ed got up and transmuted his arm back from the blade. Thinking over his options, he gave a sigh.

                “Fine,” Ed said. “But you should’ve warned me. Yeah, you didn’t know it was bears. But you sensed something. If y’all’d’ve just said something I-”

                “What was that?” Ling cut him off.

                “Huh?” his annoyance paused, derailed by the question.

                “That word you just said,” he explained.

                “Did you actually say that?” Greed switched in, barely containing a snicker. “I didn’t think people actually said ‘y’all’d’ve’!”

                While he was busy laughing, Ling asked again as he still didn’t know what was happening. Darius and Heinkel were a bit more composed than Greed, but were surprised and a little amused. Ed could feel his ears burning and an urge to punch someone rising.

                “Forget it,” Ed grumbled, not meeting anyone’s face. “Just- let’s just keep going. We should get as far from the bears as possible before setting up camp.”

                “Sure thing, Goldilocks,” Greed grinned.

                Ed let out a frustrated scream, but he was mostly ignored. At least they were moving on, and hopefully forgetting this conversation. Following behind, he tried to ignore it all too.

                Of course, he was a little too good at ignoring them until he felt an arm over his shoulders. It wasn’t like he couldn’t guess which one had done that. Still, he would like to ignore it.

                “I’m not sure what I did,” Ling said. “But it was upsetting so I’m sorry.”

                “Thought you liked upsetting me,” Ed joked.

                “Somewhat,” he laughed. “I like getting a reaction from you. Annoyed or flustered are entertaining. Upset is different.”

                “Yeah, well, it’s not your fault,” he said.

                “I’d still like to know what happened,” he insisted.

                “How do I explain it?” he muttered, leaning closer against him as they walked. “In your language, do you have different regional dialects? As in, something someone says or the way they pronounce a word tells you where they’re from?”

                “Oh, yeah, we do,” he nodded. “Some are more obvious, but there are certain words or phrases one can say that will let people know where they’re from. That thing you said was like that?”

                “Yeah,” he said. “It’s not a big deal, but it’s easy to make fun of. Usually it doesn’t bother me, but, you know, I was a bit more set off by the bear situation. Most of the time I can turn it around on anyone who tries. First time Mustang pointed out that we say weird things, Al and I went full force. Exaggerated accent, even more ridiculous phrases, everything.”

                “Bet that confused him,” he said.

                “Oh, it was hilarious,” he snickered at the memory. “The guy grew up in Central, and while he worked out east, he was still in a big city. It didn’t take long to confuse the hell out of him. We actually kept it up all day. Even Havoc could only half-understand some of our sayings.”

                “So, if it confused those from the city, it means you grew up in the countryside?” he asked.

                “Yeah,” he admitted. “Small farm town, actually.”

                “See, that’s one reason I laughed,” Greed popped in, thankfully taking a step away. “You’re some big-shot State Alchemist from hickville.”

                His only response was a glare. Thankfully, Greed left and Ling pulled Ed back into him.

                “He does have some of a point,” Ling said.

                “Not winning any points yourself,” Ed muttered.

                “Not on the making fun part,” he assured. “But I do have to wonder. How do two kids from a small farm town become brilliant Alchemists? Talent is one thing, but even you said that you needed to study. I don’t know much about small farm towns, but they don’t usually have the reading material on hand.”

                “Most don’t,” he admitted. “But Al and I getting into Alchemy was pretty inevitable, really. I, uh, I mentioned my dad before, right?”

                “Once or twice,” he said, his expression becoming more thoughtful. “You said his name was Hohen-something or other.”

                “Van Hohenheim,” he said, the thought causing an automatic frown. “He had his own study in the house, and it was practically an entire library of Alchemy. Each wall was a bookshelf, all filled with texts and journals on the subject. Probably the only good thing I’ll say about him is that his personal research journals were brilliant. From what we could figure out anyway.”

                “From what you could figure out?” he asked.

                “Alchemists tend to write their research in code,” he explained. “His code seemed to be other languages. There was a small amount in Xingese or Drachman that we could get translated, but most was in a language I’d never seen before. Hell, maybe it was just a code within the code that we missed. He was always some sort of weird fucking cryptid so who knows!”

                “I see how your interest in Alchemy would be inevitable,” he mused.

                “You know,” he said. “I nearly forgot how that interest actually kicked off until now. It’s one of those things where you’re too young to fully remember it, but it’s important so you do. You know what I mean?”

                “Somewhat,” he laughed. “You did mention you started learning when you were very little.”

                “I had to have been about three, maybe four,” he nodded. “Al and I were over at Winry’s place, thinking about mom’s birthday. We wanted to get her something, because we knew that’s what you do for a birthday, but we were literal toddlers with no money. While we were bouncing ideas off each other, Sarah overheard-”

                “Sarah?” he asked.

                “Oh, she’s- she was Winry’s mom,” he explained. “Anyway, she told us that mom liked it when my dad made her things. Little trinkets created from Alchemy, because she found it fascinating. She was probably expecting us to break out the craft supplies, but next time we had the chance, Al and I sneaked into the study and started pulling books off the shelves.”

                “And it just clicked?” he guessed.

                “Exactly,” he said. “It wasn’t some miracle crap where we ‘instantly knew’ or whatever. It was just easy for us to learn and understand what we read. Mom was confused about that, because Alchemy never made sense to her, but she was… she was proud of us. She loved seeing what we could do. It made her happy, so we kept with it. You can figure out the rest from there.”

                “So, what was the town like?” he asked. “I can guess some, from what little I know of farm towns, but I want to know about this one.”

                “It was… It was a farm town,” he said. “Mostly sheep farming. The people are pretty good. They like rumors and gossip about the mundane, but they don’t question the unexplainable. And the scenery, never thought I’d miss how much nothingness there was. Just fields that seem to go on forever.”

                “Sounds beautiful,” he said.

                “Yeah, well, you’ll see it soon enough,” he said. “We’re heading there anyway so maybe you’ll have some time to check it out. We should get there in time for the spring festival actually. That’s another thing about small farm towns. They love their little festivals where the whole town can gather and party.”

                They walked in silence for a few moments. Ed was unused to physical touch, so even Ling’s arm around his shoulders felt somewhat overwhelming. Somehow, he was getting used to that feeling.

                He noticed that Darius and Heinkel had walked a good bit ahead of them. Close enough that they wouldn’t manage to get lost, but just out of earshot. Both would occasionally glance back, and give the pair a look.

                Ed was unsure how to feel about that. He and Ling hadn’t really mentioned their relationship to them. It wasn’t for any real reason. Not like they’d react badly to it or anything. It was just that neither Ed nor Ling had really brought it up, and he was pretty sure Greed hadn’t mentioned anything either.

                The looks they were getting though, well, it made Ed wonder if the two Chimeras had caught on. It wouldn’t surprise him if they did, since he and Ling were not the best at ‘subtle’. But he didn’t want to think on that. Better to keep talking.

                “So,” Ed began, still trying to find a conversation. “I guess you probably grew up in a city then?”

                “Yeah, I did,” Ling nodded. “And it was like many cities. Plenty of people, shops everywhere, all of that. Describing further would be difficult. The culture differences include much of the architecture. I guess you could say that while Amestrian buildings look more practical, Xingese buildings are more ornamental, creating a sort of aesthetic. Not to mention that the designs are easier for climbing.”

                “Of course you’d know that,” he rolled his eyes. “So, is climbing into windows just a you thing, or is it a culture thing?”

                “A little of both,” he said. “It’s become a bit of a trend for teens to scale the buildings and use the rooftops to travel quickly. But I do find that entering through windows is safer. It’s harder to assassinate someone if you have no idea where they’ll come in.”

                “Your weird family situation, right,” he said. “So, does more assassination attempts mean you’re more likely to be the next Emperor, or is it a ‘just in case’ thing?”

                “Well, by default I’m a higher rank,” he said. “The larger and richer clans tend to have an easier time winning the Emperor’s favor. The Yao clan isn’t largest or richest, but we’re pretty high up there. By that default I have a good chance, but I decided to make sure of it.”

                “So, do you have anyone back home?” he asked. “I know your family is weird, and you have the people in general to think about, but is there anyone you’re close to?”

                “Very few,” he admitted. “Mostly just Lan Fan and Fu. Maybe my mother.”

                “Maybe?” he raised an eyebrow.

                “I can guess what’s going through your head,” he said. “But my relationship with my mother is another part of the weird family situation. She lives in the palace, with the Emperor. While I talk to her often, we’re not close. She might be my mother, but she feels more like an aunt of sorts. Lan Fan and Fu are more family to me than any of my blood relatives.”

                “I guess I can understand that,” he said. “It’s probably pointless to ask if you get along with any of your half-siblings. Are there any that at least don’t want you dead?”

                Ling gave him a questioning look. Then, the look became a sort of understanding, a bit more sad.

                “You’re asking about Mei Chang, aren’t you?” Ling guessed.

                “I didn’t know if you knew she was here,” Ed admitted.

                “If it makes you feel better, I don’t think she’ll kill me,” he assured.

                “You sure?” he asked. “Because she did try to fight Lan Fan when they met.”

                “And I’m sure you handled that wonderfully,” he smiled.

                “I wasn’t even there!” he defended. “Al told me later. And for the record, he tried to calm them down, but they both told him to fuck off.”

                “Of course,” he said, the frown returning once more. “I know she’s here for the same reason I am, but I don’t like that she’s on this adventure. This is too dangerous for a child.”

                “I hate to break it to you, but you’re also a kid,” he said.

                “You’re the same age as me,” he defended.

                “Actually,” he mused. “What day is it? I lost track a while ago, but we might’ve hit my birthday, making me technically sixteen and considered older.”

                “Happy possible birthday,” he huffed. “Either way, she’s younger than us. I believe she’s twelve, maybe thirteen now.”

                “I was that age when I became a State Alchemist,” he shrugged. “Would’ve done it at eleven, but I needed a new arm and leg.”

                “That’s not a good thing,” he said.

                This time, it was Ed’s turn to pause and frown. He leaned closer to Ling, looking ahead but not quite focusing on anything. Shut down that train of thought.

                “I know,” Ed said. “I just meant that she seems like she can handle it.”

                “I’m sure she can,” Ling agreed. “But she shouldn’t have to. It’s one of the reasons I’m going to become Emperor. Not just for me or her, but for all of us. It’s a terrible system, and it’s one of the things I’m going to change.”

                “Can you even do that?” he wondered. “Obviously, you’d be Emperor and have supreme power or whatever, but aren’t there rules in place to make sure one clan doesn’t take over or something?”

                “Oddly, no,” he said. “Most were too focused on their own temporary power to think of keeping it for the next generation. Changing things will be difficult. Plenty of people will fight the changes to the system I want to make for a variety of reasons. But I told you, I’m willing to put up the fight to do it.”

                “At least you’re fighting the system and not your siblings,” he joked.

                Ling’s hand slipped away from Ed’s shoulders for a second. Before he could ask why, the answer came.

                “Wow,” Greed said. “I thought my family was dysfunctional!”

                “’Dysfunctional’ doesn’t even begin to cover your family’,” Ed deadpanned.

                “Better than ‘deathmatch for the throne’,” he shrugged. “Then again, there’s a reason I’ve been low-key calling us ‘Team Dad Issues’.”

                For some reason, that got Ed to choke on laughter. While he was figuring out how to breathe again, the other two continued.

                “I don’t think we’re that bad,” Ling defended.

                “You are literally only trying to help your dad for the throne,” Greed pointed out. “I’ve made my hatred of my father pretty clear considering he literally killed me for telling him to fuck off. And I don’t even know where to start with Goldilocks.”

                “Please tell me that nickname isn’t sticking,” Ed said as soon as he caught his breath.

                “Too late,” he grinned, sticking his tongue out for good measure.

                “So where do they fit in to your team?” Ling asked, taking back over again to point ahead.

                Following his gesture, they saw that Darius and Heinkel had managed to get even further ahead, thanks to Ed having to stop while laughing. Once more they were looking back at them, but it was more exasperated this time. They didn’t even stop and let them catch up.

                “Okay, fine,” Greed said. “Qualifications for the team include either a bad relationship with your father, or being a Chimera. There’s probably someone with an overlap of those traits just waiting to join us.”

                “What are the fucking odds,” Ed sighed, already thinking of one.

                “So, that does bring up a question,” Ling said. “What is your family actually like?”

                “You’ve met them,” Greed frowned.

                “I think he means ‘what are they like to you?’,” Ed clarified. “I’ve seen them want to kill me, but you’re their family. Probably gives you a different perspective.”

                “Want to make sure I’m not going back to them?” he said, rolling his eyes.

                “Actually, just curious,” he said. “Your talk about Envy’s fashion sense the other day was almost actually sibling-like. I honestly didn’t expect that.”

                “So, do you get along with any of them?” Ling asked.

                Ling’s continued pestering had lost some of it’s effect as he couldn’t physically poke his target. Despite this, Greed seemed just as exasperated as if he were being harassed. Giving a sigh, which caused Ling to grin, he gave in.

                “There were good times, back before I left,” Greed admitted. “We could get along, have fun, make fun of each other, and do the other usual sibling stuff. Well, maybe not ‘usual’ stuff, since there was more murder than most siblings.”

                “What happened to ‘at least we weren’t in a deathmatch’?” Ed rolled his eyes.

                “Differences between Humans and Homunculi,” he said. “Siblings fight and roughhouse. We’re sort of Immortal, so our fights involved more stabbing and throwing one another through walls. And playing ‘the floor is lava’ was a bit more literal.

                “Only real murder committed was mine,” he continued. “While I can say I enjoyed the company of most of my siblings, I have no good memories of Wrath. He was created after I left, and he hasn’t really done much to win me over.”

                “And your father?” Ed asked, a bit hesitant. “You did call us ‘team dad issues’.”

                “No good memory of him either,” he huffed. “He only likes us if we’re useful, only praises us if we help his plan. And as fucking pissed as I am at Wrath, I know that he was only following Father’s orders. He had Envy do something similar before I left the first time. But hey, now I have backup for when I go kick his ass!”

                “At least you have that going for you,” he said.

                “You know, I have another question,” Ling popped in.

                “Of course you do,” Greed said, taking back control.

                “What’s with the Seven Sins theme?” he wondered.

                “Supposedly, it's literal” he answered, “Father says he created us from his own Soul to get rid of his own Sins. To get rid of anything resembling Humanity.”

                “And he thinks the Sins represent Humanity?” Ed raised an eyebrow.

                “Humans are creatures of Sin,” he said. “Let’s take my own Avarice, for example. Everyone wants something. It can be as simple as money or power, or it can be specific. Wanting to be loved, wanting to protect those you care for, wanting to bring someone back to life. You can slap morality on it, call it a ‘Sin’, but it’s part of being Human. The only Sinful part is how you act on it.

                “Still,” Greed continued. “While we might embody the ‘Sins’, I don’t know if we were created from Father’s own Sins that he removed. Even without us, he’s still a selfish, arrogant prick with anger issues. Again, he killed me for running away. And if we are his ‘Sins’, then that doesn’t explain where the hell Lust came from. Jackass didn’t have any of that ‘Sin’ to get rid of, much less enough to create her.”

                “Not a thought I wanted,” Ed said, shaking his head. “Can I ask- just, why’d you leave? Before, I mean. You said it was a hundred years back, so what happened?”

                He went quiet. Staring ahead, giving a concentrated frown. Greed wasn’t thinking, he was remembering. It was easy to see the memory of whatever happened brought to the forefront of his mind. For a moment, his Shield slid up his hand. Just as quickly, he shook it away.

                “There were things I wanted,” Greed answered carefully. “Of course. I’m Greed, after all. I realized that I could never have all I want if I stayed with them, went through with their plans. So I told them to fuck off and left.”

                With that, Greed quickened his pace. It was almost a familiar move, one Ed had pulled a few times. It made him wonder what all was going through Greed’s head with all this. Made him realize that he never had a choice in any of this. None of them did, really. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you guys who are here because of Shenanigan and a Half probably noticed that this is the origin of the 'Goldilocks' nickname. 'Sleeping Beauty' will come later. 
> 
> Also, uh, y'all noticed that 'several characters live' tag? There is at least one character who already got saved from death and will show up later. Have you guessed who?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since my laptop has decided to be a fuck and not let me procrastinate by playing A Hat in Time, I'm taking it as a sign from the universe to post something. So have some surprising past-romance tidbits.   
> Also, there's a new tag. Because this chapter starts up talk of the endgame polyship I mentioned before.

                Today, they were on duty to gather firewood. While the rest of their team could easily break off tree branches themselves, Ed took the time to transmute axes for himself and Ling. And of course it was Ling doing the work, because Greed didn’t really care for sharing the work.

                That was okay with them though. If Greed wanted to let Ling do the job, it meant that he got more time in control. More time with Ed, which was a very good plus. Not that Greed was fully gone, but he usually only popped in to make sarcastic comments.

                Of course, he wasn’t the only one making sarcastic comments.

                “This is kind of romantic, isn’t it?” Ling said.

                “Which part?” Ed asked. “Swinging the ax or carrying all this back to the camp?”

                “I was thinking more ‘walking through the woods in the evening',” he replied. “Kind of a usual date idea, right?”

                “If it weren’t for survival, sure,” he said, pausing to toss another branch on the pile “Not that this is an ideal first date anyway.”

                “You’re right,” he nodded. “First dates should always involve food.”

                “Of course you’d say that,” he said. “Since we’re not likely to go on a ‘proper’ first date any time soon, want to just consider any of our previous meals a first date?”

                “Most of our time wasn’t alone though,” he frowned. “Usually at least your brother and Lan Fan were with us. Normally a date is one-on-one.”

                “Eh, nothing about this relationship has been ‘normal’,” he said. “Nothing about my life has been normal, either. So that’s normal for me.”

                “You know,” he said, sly smile appearing. “There was one time we shared a meal alone.”

                “If you say what I think you’re going to say,” he threatened, mockingly waving the ax at him.

                “We did eat your boot in the Literal Hell Pit!” he said anyway.

                Ed groaned in response, rubbing his face as he did. The only sound from Ling was laughter, occasionally interrupted by Greed’s disbelief. As annoyed as he was, he did find himself smiling too.

                “I don’t know what’s worse,” Ed said. “The fact that you just suggested that, or the fact that, context aside, it’s not the worst dinner date I’ve been on.”

                “What kind of dinner date could be worse?” Ling wondered, possibly redundantly.

                “By the time the food got there, she was already planning another date,” he said, pausing to look straight at him. “With the waiter.”

                That sent both into another round of laughter. Of course, Ed was mostly giving a few quiet chuckles compared to Ling practically doubled over with hilarity and confusion.

                “Don’t feel too sorry for me there,” Ed said, waving the ax again.

                “Sorry,” Ling said as the laughter subsided. “Although, I didn’t think you had much time for dating with all you’ve been involved in.”

                “I don’t,” he said. “But sometimes, when we’re traveling around, I’ll meet someone my age who insists on a date. There’s several reasons I try to turn them down. Again, traveling, not the best thing for getting a relationship.”

                “Then why-?” he began.

                “Because everyone insists,” he said. “Even if it’s just the one date. Not to mention adults saying I should ‘be a normal teen for once’. And… Sometimes Al says something similar. That I should enjoy what I can, since he can’t. Only thing worse for romance than traveling, is not having a real body.”

                “Oh,” he said.

                “Yeah, ‘oh’,” he said. “I made it clear to everyone that it was just one date, but apparently I only attract stubborn people.”

                “I don’t think I’m that stubborn,” he defended.

                “Yes you are,” Greed switched in. “The only reason you didn’t die yet is because you’re too fucking stubborn. Literally.”

                “He has a point,” Ed grinned, much to Ling’s exasperation.

                Realizing that they weren’t going to get much work done in the next few minutes, Ed leaned his ax against a tree and walked over. Ling was pouting, looking all annoyed at the comment. It was all part of his game, of course. He could tell when Ling was actually upset, and when he was playing up annoyance. It was the dramatics he used, really.

                He didn’t mind too much. After all, if Ling was ‘upset’, then it gave Ed the excuse to ‘apologize’ with a kiss. He did mind the fact that he had to go up to kiss him, but it was forgotten the moment he felt Ling’s pouting melt into a smile against his lips and his hands pulling him closer.

                “You know,” Ling mused as they parted. “That does answer a few questions. Like how someone with no stable romance learned to kiss.”

                “Yeah, that was,” Ed nodded along. “That happened. On the better dates. Where she didn’t ask out the waiter.”

                “That’s another question you answered,” he said. “Other than that specific one, you kept your wording fairly gender neutral. I’d been wondering if you already knew you liked guys, or if this was completely new to you.”

                “Some of the dates were guys,” he admitted. “So, is this the part where I ask about your romantic history or...”

                “I’ve had a... debatable amount of stability there,” he said. “And to answer your next question, I pretty much always knew I liked both.”

                “Lucky,” he huffed. “I had a crush on a girl, but there hadn’t been any real guy crushes. Then when I was barely thirteen my subconscious decided to give me a very interesting dream, and I proceeded to have an existential crisis over it.”

                “Oh, wow,” he chuckled. “How bad were you freaking out? Minor controlled panic, or full breakdown?”

                “Enough for two people to notice and interrogate me over why,” he said. “Al noticed first, of course. And then one of the people I work with managed to get me to confess. Not sure if anyone else guessed, but I haven’t really kept it secret.”

                “You aren’t known for subtly,” he said.

                “Don’t care to be,” he said.

                “So,” he began, the teasing smile coming back. “Since you ‘don’t care for subtly...”

                “You already have another question lined up, don’t you?” he sighed.

                “Just one more,” he said. “You said that you had a crush on a girl before. It wouldn’t happen to have been miss Winry, perchance?”

                “What makes you think that?” he asked, sure the answer was all over his face.

                “The way you acted around her,” he said. “Back when we first met, I thought you two were together until Al corrected me.”

                “I don’t think we act all romantic or anything like that,” he said.

                “More like an old married couple,” he said. “Besides, the fact that you’re trying to avoid a yes or no answer says plenty. It’s not like I’ll be ‘outrageously jealous’. If you can’t tell your boyfriend about your old crushes, who can you tell?”

                “What if,” he began. “What if the crush isn’t all that old?”

                A small bit of guilt coiled up in his chest. He could have just avoided the question. Maybe he should have. Really, he was debating about shutting the question down anyway. But given how obvious the subject apparently was, and the fact that Ling seemed to rarely leave subjects alone, it was something he’d be forced to confront soon enough. This one he could handle talking about, could see him handling fairly well.

                “I liked her when we were kids,” Ed admitted, avoiding looking up. “Then- then everything happened, you know? I pushed the feeling down, pushed her away as much as I could, to the point where I nearly forgot how I felt. But the feeling… it never went away.

                “Which is so many kinds of confusing!” he continued, words coming out before he could think. “I know I like you, obviously. But I know I like her too. I’m not going to try and ruin this because I’m not- well, I am an asshole but not that kind of asshole. But I don’t want to screw this up because I’m an idiot and-”

                “Hey, it’s okay,” Ling cut him off. “You’re not going to ruin this.”

                “I might,” Ed admitted, more ideas than just this coming to his head.

                “You’re not,” he insisted. “Firstly, because I know you well enough to know you won’t do anything that dumb. Secondly, you can’t ruin this if I say ‘go for it’.”

                “Wait, what?” he asked, momentarily snapping out of the spiral of overthinking.

                “Go for it,” he repeated. “I know how you feel about me, and this won’t change that. But I’m okay with the idea of you being with her as well, as long as she’s okay with sharing you with me.”

                “Calling it ‘sharing me’ doesn’t make it sound better,” he frowned. “And even if you’re both okay with the idea, how can I be sure it won’t still fuck up? One of you could end up getting jealous, or I’d end up spending more time with the other and we all end up fighting.”

                “There’s a chance for that with just the two of us,” he said. “But if something happens, we’ll handle it by talking it out.”

                “Because I’m the best at ‘talking it out’,” he muttered.

                “We can work on it,” he said. “You know, you’d probably have a better relationship with everyone if you actually sat down and talked things out.”

                He had a point. Ed might’ve begrudgingly admitted that if those eyes hadn’t turned purple.

                “Would you imagine that?” Greed said. “Actually having a conversation instead of telling everyone to fuck off can make you happy? I had no idea!”

                “I can still tell you to fuck off,” Ed retorted.

                His attempt to be annoyed and stomp back off to gather more firewood probably would’ve worked. If he hadn’t tripped like a freaking idiot. There was just enough time to curse everything in existence before his face hit something.

                The one thing worse than slamming his face into the ground was slamming his face into Ling’s chest. Because of course the guy had reflexes quick enough to catch him. Curse that too while he’s thinking of it.

                “You okay there?” Ling asked.

                “Fucking leg,” Ed muttered, not bothering to get up. “Automail’s great, but it’s not perfect. Especially in rough terrain and off balanced.”

                “And here I thought you were just falling for me!” he laughed.

                Ed moved his head just enough to glare at him. Then, he got an idea. Wrapping his arms around Ling’s waist, he smiled up at him. Waiting just long enough for him to register the mischief in that expression, Ed dropped to deadweight and dragged him down to the forest floor.

                The landing was a bit rough, but he didn’t care. Ed didn’t even swear at the pain, though he did snicker when Ling did.

                “Who’s falling for who now?” Ed asked, pushing himself up to his hands and knees.

                Ling didn’t answer. He actually looked mildly flustered. Usually Ed would count that as a win, since it seemed difficult to do. But it only made him question why.

                Okay. It probably had something to do with the fact that this stunt had knocked him on his back, and in the process of getting up Ed was sort of hovering over him. It wasn’t the most suggestive position they could’ve tumbled into, but it was enough to get Ed thinking of what could happen next.

                He had frozen a bit, though he was sure his expression was anything but frozen. Ling sat up and moved back a little, seeming to realize that their position had been accidental and not ‘a move’. It was kind of reassuring that he was okay with nothing happening.

                Except Ed wanted something to happen. He wasn’t sure what all he wanted to happen just yet, but he did want something. Taking a breath to calm a little, he decided to go for it himself.

                Placing his hands on Ling’s shoulders for balance, he sat up more and moved closer again. Ed didn’t kiss him just yet. No, he waited, just a little bit apart, giving a soft smile and what he hoped was a clear message.

                Feeling Ling’s hands on his sides, he let himself be pulled in. The kiss was warm and soft. With his heart beating faster, he melted into the moment.

                There was barely time to breathe before being pulled in again, the kiss feeling somehow deeper, more intense, each time. Ed decided to test the waters, slipping his tongue in. The gesture was returned in earnest, and god did that make everything go fuzzy for a moment.

                Ed jolted slightly, feeling hands slide down and grab his ass. He wanted to grumble about that being unfair, but he knew he’d just get a bit of a laugh. After all, he was the one who escalated in the first place. Not to mention that he did like it.

                Instead, he opted for further escalation. He moved his own hands, running the left one through Ling’s hair. The right hand wandered a bit carefully, as good as automail was it didn’t quite have the proper sensitivity for this. Still, he did the best he could and slid down Ling’s chest, wondering if he should stop there.

                Mouths parted for a moment, only far enough that they could gasp for breath. Ling said something in Xingese, and once more Ed had no idea what it translated to. But the tone of it was enough to send a shudder through him.

                In the next second, lips were back together. They fell against the ground once more, though they were in a reverse of their earlier positioning. Hands wandered, exploring, almost with curiosity. Their touches were light at first, but both quickly grew bolder as they went on.

                For what felt like the first time in forever, Ed let his mind go blank and think of nothing but this. He let himself fall into the moment, because it was kind of romantic to go walking through a forest at sunset with someone you love, only to end up making out. Or more, if they continued like this. Which, well, he was sixteen damn it! This was normal and wonderful and he loved it.

                Then that earlier guilt decided to spring on him. Suddenly it felt too good, too normal. Panic set in, and he found himself pushing away, nearly scrambling upright and taking a few steps back.

                Ling was still on the ground, staring up in confusion. Even more panic and guilt bubbled up, and Ed was trying to think of what to do. Breaking down wasn’t an option, and neither was screaming and fighting.

                Which left one choice. Shutdown.

                “Are you okay?” Ling asked, getting back up.

                “Fine,” Ed replied, keeping his voice even.

                “Then why…?” he tried to ask.

                “Just thought we should be heading back to camp,” he said. “We’ve been gone a while. Wouldn’t want Heinkel and Darius to have to come looking for us. Especially since it’ll get dark and cold real soon, so-”

                “Ed, we just agreed to talk about things more,” he said.

                “I know,” he said. “And if there’s something we need to talk about, I’ll talk about it.”

                He didn’t say the thought that was screaming in his head. That they didn’t need to talk about it. That if they tried, everything would unravel. He couldn’t do that. Not yet.

                Still, Ling’s expression made that resolve waver for a moment. Ed barely swallowed it all down when he reached a hand out to him, deciding to stiffen up at potential touch. It didn’t help either of them.

                Then Greed took over. He still reached toward Ed, who stiffened up again for different reasons. Yet the only thing the Homunculus did was pull a twig free from Ed’s hair.

                “Well then,” Greed said. "If you’re so worried about the Chimeras not finding out about what you’ve been up to, you might want to ‘calm down’ before we get back.”

                When Greed looked him over and gave a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, Ed knew that he was trying to give him a reason to scream and fight. It was almost like he was being helpful. Even if he was, Ed didn’t care. Shutdown kept the fight at bay, only glaring before walking back to what he was supposed to be doing.

                The whole thing only made the guilt worse, but it was all he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kid has some problems.   
> I've noticed that most people write Ed with absolutely no experience outside of the Winry crush. I get it, because yeah, but he is a little focused on everything goddamn else. But I do think that there are plenty of people who would flirt with him, an a handful who could manage to get him to 'fine one date but I'll be grumpy the whole time'. While he has a little experience in the kissing department, he still doesn't have any experience in long-term relationships or much past first-date makeouts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy! Angst chapter incoming! Which means we get a list of various trigger warnings. 
> 
> Uh, lets see, warnings for nightmares/ptsd flashbacks, breakdowns, and mentions of suicidal thoughts. I think that's it. If anyone notices something else I should tag then mention it to me.

                His nightmares always began the same way: watching his mom collapse in the kitchen.

                Every time it was the same. Ed would try to wake her up, and when he couldn’t, he’d run. He would run to the Rockbell house, somehow going faster than possible and not moving at all. He could feel every second of it. Fear and panic. Desperation. How out of breath he was as he burst through the front door, barely able to beg for help through tears. Because some part of him knew it was too late for them to help.

                After that, there was another familiar scene. He saw Al. Normal, ten years old, and smiling at him all full of hope. His smile turned to terror as he dissolved. Ed reached out, trying in vain to grab him, even as he felt the pain of his arm and leg dissolving as well.

                There was flashes of what happened next. Seeing the Armor, trying to explain what he did, apologize for what he did. The clearest part was Al carrying him to get help, seeing Winry answer the door. He remembered her face, eleven years old, crying as she watched her best friend bleed out on her porch.

                The next memory was newer, but it was still Winry, still crying. Instead, she was fifteen, holding a gun as tears fell down her face.

                He saw another newer memory. Nina, once more a little girl. It wasn’t long before her body changed into the Chimera she now was.

                Then there was Ling. He grinned at him, like always. Told him it would all be okay, even as he coughed up blood and doubled over in pain.

                When he straightened up, it was Greed staring at him. They fought again, memories melding between the fight in the underground lair and their original battle in the basement of the Devil’s Nest.

                Except this time, when Ed’s blade broke through the shield, Greed went down, the power of his Philosopher’s Stone finally used up.

                So many other scenes flashed through his mind. People who died, people who could have died. In another world, another time, maybe they had died. If that rescue hadn’t been quick enough, if he hadn’t thought of a way out, if that bullet landed just a fraction of an inch differently, if he hadn’t been so lucky.

                He saw what could happen. Everyone he knows, everyone he cares about, dropping dead as their Souls were taken from them.

                And all of it was his fault. Because he brought them into this, because he made the wrong choice, because he couldn’t stop it.

                It felt like forever before he could feel anything other than panic and guilt and confusion. By the time he came back to himself to form a coherent thought, he realized it was more than just a nightmare. He hadn’t slammed into reality like he usually did when waking up.

                It still took a while to register everything, and the darkness wasn’t helping. He could see Ling in front of him. Above him? It didn’t matter. He was more concerned with the worried expression on his face.

                Ling seemed to be talking to him, but he sounded far away. Like trying to talk underwater.

                “Are you okay?” Ling asked.

                Ed responded with some sort of sound. It might’ve been a strangled laugh, because how could any of this be ‘okay’? He regretted it a moment after, seeing the concern on Ling’s face deepen. Taking a shaky breath, he tried to say he was fine, but it seemed he wasn’t able to talk yet.

                “If I let you up, are you going to be more calm?” Ling asked.

                Let him up? What did he-? Oh.

                Ed was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was being held down. His arms were pinned beside his head, and he could feel Ling sitting on his hips. Any other time, that would’ve left him a flustered mess. But right now? He was far too aware of what had happened.

                Pulling himself together a bit, Ed managed to answer with a nod. Ling slowly released his grip on Ed’s wrists, only moving once he was sure that nothing else would happen. As Ed pushed himself up, he found that Ling had only moved back enough to let him to that.

                Before Ed could think of saying anything, he was pulled into a hug. And that was so many kinds of confusing to him. He wanted to push away, to run off and calm down, recompose himself before having to talk about anything. Not that he wanted to do that at all.

                But damn it, it was so rare to have comfort after a nightmare. He never slept in the same room as others, for exactly this reason. And when he did, or if he nodded off on a train ride or in a library or that one time in Mustang’s office, he brushed off any attempts. Usually he had sobered up by the time he was awake anyway.

                Even years ago, when he and Al still shared a room, because Al could still sleep. Back when his nightmares were more normal. He never woke Al, not even accidentally, as he never screamed in his sleep.

                The last time he could remember actively seeking comfort for a nightmare was before anything. Before Everything. When he was not-quite-five-yet and could make his way to his parents’ bedroom and wake them up. They’d tell him it’s okay and he could spend the rest of the night feeling safe and warm snuggled up between them. Back when the thought of his mom didn’t make him want to cry. Back when the thought of his dad didn’t make him want to scream.

                As much as he wanted to push away, he was far too emotionally drained to do it. So he let it happen. He even returned the hug, still trying to keep himself from shaking.

                “Are you okay?” Ling asked again, sounding a lot less like he was underwater now.

                “Fine,” Ed answered, his voice still strained. “Just nightmares. Flashbacks. Panic attack. That sort of thing.”

                “Does that...” he trailed off a little. “Does that happen often.”

                “Usually it’s not as bad” he said. “Nightmares happen a lot, but usually stop when I wake up. And when I’m awake, panic attacks are more of a fight or flight response. But when a nightmare triggers the panic attack, I guess the unreality of the nightmare follows me. That hasn’t happened in- in a while.”

                “I’m sorry,” he said.

                “None of it’s your fault,” he shrugged. “It’s probably just all the stress of goddamn everything.”

                “It’s not just that, is it?” he asked. “Back in the woods, when you… you just stopped. That was your ‘fight or flight response’, wasn’t it? Even if the nightmares were just from stress, that was the tipping point, wasn’t it?”

                Ed didn’t want to answer that. He held him tighter, fingers curling into the fabric of Ling’s shirt.

                “Why?” Ling asked.

                “You know what my past is like,” Ed answered.

                “But what set it off?” he asked.

                “Nothing,” he answered.

                “Something had to,” he said, moving back to look at his face. “Please. I know I did something to set it off. At least tell me so I don’t do it again.”

                “It wasn’t anything,” he said. “It’s fine.”

                “It’s not fine,” he said. “We need to talk about this.”

                “No, we don’t,” he snapped. “Why does it matter? You know it happens, you can’t stop it. Just give me time and it’ll be all back to normal!”

                “It matters because I don’t care about normal!” he retorted. “I care about you, problems and all. I want to know what’s going on with you. Because sure, maybe I can’t fix it or stop it all the time, but I want to understand what’s going on with you! What if I were the one getting nightmares? What if it was Winry? Or Alphonse? Wouldn’t you ask about them?”

                “I don’t need to ask!” he growled. “I already know why! It’s the same reason Al can’t have nightmares! Because I had to fuck everything up, and drag all of you in with me!”

                “That’s not true,” he said, voice growing softer.

                “The hell it isn’t!” he was nearly shouting now. “If we hadn’t met, you’d be gallivanting around Amestris with Lan Fan and Fu right now! If I didn’t drag you into my fight, Lan Fan would still have her arm, and you wouldn’t have to deal with Greed! Or maybe you would! Because if it weren’t for me, Greed would still be back in Dublith running the Devil’s Nest!”

                He would have continued, but he felt the hands on him turn cold. It was too dark to tell, but for a moment, he was sure that Greed had taken over. If he had, he didn’t say anything. Just sat there and stared.

                After a moment, Ed felt those hands warm up again, a bit more gradually than before.

                “None of it’s your fault,” Ling said.

                “I’m going to get you killed,” Ed muttered.

                “I could get you killed too,” he said. “Say we make it through everything, and you come back to Xing with me. I have a whole bunch of half-siblings who would want me dead, and they wouldn’t hesitate to kill you for getting in the way. Some of them would even use you to get to me. Kidnap you as bait for a trap.”

                “It’s not the same,” he said. “You can’t control the fact that you were born into some bullshit family politics.”

                “And you can’t control this,” he replied. “We’re just us, just Human. We’re not invincible, but that won’t stop us, will it? We’re too damn stubborn. You might be a stubborn idiot, but I love you anyway.”

                “I love you too.”

                As the words fell from his mouth, something in him broke. He tried to keep it together, but he was too emotionally exhausted, too honest right now. There wasn’t a way to shut it down or channel it elsewhere. All he could do was pull Ling closer and try to keep breathing as tears finally fell.

                “I-I can’t do this,” Ed said between sobs.

                “It’ll be okay,” Ling said, rubbing small circles into Ed’s back.

                “I can’t,” he repeated. “It’s just-It’s easier. It’s easier to scream and- and fight. Or just to ignore it all. If I stop, I’m not sure I’ll start going again.”

                “Have you ever...” he stopped and swallowed. “Have you ever wanted to die?”

                “I… I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Right after- after we tried to bring mom back. We’d failed, I lost two limbs and nearly lost Al. And he… finding out about how he couldn’t eat or sleep or even feel anything because of what I did.”

                “The thought crossed your mind?” he asked.

                “Only for a moment,” he said. “As soon as I realized what I was thinking, I shut that off. All I could think of was how alone I had felt when I thought Al was dead, before I brought him back. I didn’t want him to ever feel that alone.”

                “Did you ever tell anyone?” he wondered.

                “I didn’t say anything, but I think Winry noticed,” he said. “I remember my eyes lingering a bit on the scalpel. She locked her tools up better after that. She was another reason I didn’t go through with it. Even now I- I can still remember her face that first night, seeing Al in the armor and me missing two limbs. It shows up in my nightmares.”

                “That whole night probably does,” he nodded. “Can I ask about the nightmares?”

                Hesitating for a moment, Ed decided he was in too far to back out now. He nodded, but didn’t look up.

                “It’s flashbacks at first,” Ed said. “They always start with mom. Then it’s that night, when we tried to bring her back. After that, it’s every moment we’ve ended up in some situation where someone could’ve died. When it’s really bad, I start imagining ways people could die in the future.

                “You’ve been showing up there for a while,” he continued. “Whenever I start to care about someone, they show up there. It wasn’t quite solid at first, but it got very vivid after… after Greed.”

                “I’m sorry for that,” Ling said.

                “Not your fault,” Ed said, trying to shake his head. “And I know you’ll tell me it’s not my fault either, but in the nightmares it always is.”

                “Even if you know I’ll say it, I’ll remind you again,” he said. “It’s not your fault.”

                “Once the majority is over, I always keep thinking about one thing,” he swallowed. “Just… with all I’ve done, all I might have to do...I- I wonder what my mom would think of me if she knew.”

                “I wish I could answer that,” he said. “I think I’m supposed to say ‘of course she’d still love you, she’s your mom!’, but we both know that parents don’t always love their kids just because they’re related. And I don’t know anything about her, so I can’t guess.”

                Ed only nodded in agreement.

                “I also think, well, I can’t say ‘it doesn’t matter’,” Ling said. “It matters to you, because she matters to you. But there are so many people still here who do care about you. You’ve got me, of course. Al and Winry too. Your military friends in Central.”

                “Not sure why they care, but they do,” Ed said. “That’s not even me being depressed. Everything I get involved with gives them a mountain of paperwork to sort through.”

                “I believe it,” he said. “Greed cares too, you know. He won’t admit it, and he’s getting pissed that I’m saying this at all, but I can feel what he feels so I know the truth.”

                “He’s been oddly quiet about all this,” he said.

                “He realizes that you’ll react better to me being here,” he said. “Helped keep me calm while you were… out of it. I think he knows how to handle this sort of thing.”

                Nodding again, Ed thought that over. He remembered the people he’d met at the Devil’s Nest. Soldiers kidnapped from the battlefield to become experiments. It was natural they’d have their own traumas. He wondered how much Greed helped them with that. After all, his healing and Ultimate Shield probably kept him safe from the claws and fangs of a panicked Chimera.

                But that wasn’t something Ed wanted to think about right now. He moved back a little. Just enough to see Ling’s face, even if he couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact just yet.

                “You asked why I-,” Ed began. “What set it off earlier. In the woods.”

                “I’m sorry asking set you off more,” Ling said. “But I don’t want to do it again.”

                “That’s the thing though,” he said. “The thing that set me off was how- how normal it was. For a while, I wasn’t some ‘invincible State Alchemist and Hero to the people’, but I wasn’t just ‘some kid that got caught up in things far bigger than me’. I was just me, just Human. Nothing more, nothing less.”

                “And that terrifies you,” he said.

                “For so many reasons,” he admitted. “Some of it’s because I’m not used to ‘normal’. A lot of it is definitely related to the guilt of everything else, feeling like I don’t deserve to have that. And- remember when you said how you weren’t sure you would go back to Xing if we started this?”

                “Yeah,” he nodded. “Because I wouldn’t want to leave you.”

                “It’s like that too,” he said. “I have so many things to do. If I get comfortable, settle into some sort of happiness, I’m not sure I’ll want to leave it. So it’s easier to push away. Not just with romance, but with everything. Especially because I...”

                Ed thought he had been done crying tonight. Yet just that thought dragged another shuddering breath out of him. At the sound, Ling brought his hands up to his face, gently pulling him closer until their foreheads were touching. Ed met his gaze, and found himself talking again.

                “I don’t want to be like my parents,” Ed choked out. “I still have things to do, places to travel to for research. I don’t want you, or anyone, to be waiting for me to come back. I don’t want you to spend months on end not knowing where I am, or what’s happening to me, or if I’m even still alive. But I don’t want to- to leave either. I don’t want to go on some adventure and do who knows what, only to finally come back and find out you died. Because I wasn’t there for you.”

                “I’m sorry,” Ling said. “Especially as I’m not sure how to fix that. But we can work on it. It’ll take time, and a lot of talking it through. But I know we can figure out something.”

                “Because I already showed how great I am at talking,” he said.

                “We can work on that too,” he assured. “And I think it’ll be easier now. You already told me once now, so there’s no reason to keep it hidden. But please, tell me, okay? Even if you do end up shutting down, tell me that’s what you’re doing.”

                “I-I’ll try,” he nodded. “I’m kind of a disaster, aren’t I?”

                “We’re all disasters,” he said. “But you’re the disaster I love.”

                “Love you too,” he replied.

                “We should probably get a bit more sleep,” he said. “We’ve got another day of traveling tomorrow, and I doubt you want to be exhausted.”

                As he said it, Ed realized how tired he felt. Everything ached, some places more than others. And the emotional exhaustion was even worse than that. Yet, he didn’t feel nearly as emotionally exhausted as he usually did.

                Ling kissed his cheek, then moved to get up. Ed pulled him back down.

                “Stay,” Ed whispered. “Please.”

                “Don’t worry, I’ll be here,” Ling answered.

                Both flopped back to the ground, figuring out how to get comfortable. Really, Ed didn’t care how they ended up. He just wanted someone to hold him close, let him feel safe. And loved.

* * *

                When Ed woke up the next morning, he found that he still felt out of it. He also realized that some of him felt better. Logically he knew that talking things out can help, but he rarely felt like it could work. It did feel like a bit of weight had been lifted from his chest.

                Metaphorically at least. Ling was still asleep, but at some point last night he’d rolled over onto him. It felt like being covered by a very warm, very heavy blanket. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but he was getting a bit restless.

                Ed tried to subtly stretch out, but that didn’t work out too well. He watched Ling shuffle a little. After a moment, he found a half-asleep gaze staring up at him.

                It would’ve been adorable if that gaze wasn’t purple.

                With a sigh and an eye roll, Ed pushed him off.

                “Rude,” Greed muttered.

                “Why didn’t you get up?” Ed asked.

                “I tried,” he shrugged. “Every time I did you pulled me back so I gave up.”

                Giving another eye roll, Ed started packing up the stuff in the tent. He expected Greed to walk out and do who knows what to avoid cleanup duty. Instead, the Homunculus sat and stared at him.

                He had an idea for why, but he didn’t want to talk about it. While he might be more open to the idea that he could talk things out, he wasn’t sure he was ready for that level of openness with Greed yet. Not that he was given much of a choice.

                “About last night,” Greed began.

                “It’s fine,” Ed stopped him. “I know it’s not ‘fine’, but you know what I mean. Just thanks for, I don’t know. Not interjecting? I’m not sure what to say there.”

                “Yeah, well,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I get it. But that’s not what I was going to say.”

                He stopped at first. Ed wanted to tell him to get on with it, but stopped when he noticed how his hands shook. Looking away, Greed took a deep breath.

                “What happened at the Devil’s Nest,” Greed said. “That wasn’t your fault.”

                “Oh,” Ed said. “You did take over when I said that, then?”

                “I wanted to tell you then, but I knew you wouldn’t listen to me,” he nodded. “But it’s not your fault.”

                “If I hadn’t shown up there-” he began

                “That wouldn’t mean jack shit,” he said. “I was the one who decided to look into dangerous things. I knew what those dangers were, what Father would do to us if he ever found me again. I realized how absolutely fucked I was when you showed up and I realized who you really were. If we’re playing the blame game, then it’s my fault for taking the risk anyway.”

                “Why did you?” he asked. “What were you even trying to do?”

                He watched as Greed’s frown deepened, noticed the way his shield creeped up his hands. Instinctively, Ed reached out, not really sure why.

                “It doesn’t matter anymore,” Greed answered.

                Before Ed could say anything in response, he had already given control back to Ling.

                “Sorry about that,” Ling said. “The waking up to him thing, I mean. He just… really needed to tell you that.”

                “It’s fine,” Ed replied, still trying to process that. “Anything else I need to know before we get going for the day?”

                “Well,” he said in mock thoughtfulness. “I didn’t expect it, but you might need to actually shave.”

                Somewhat self-consciously, Ed brought his hand up to feel his face. It’s not like he was that surprised to find that he was right. He’d hit the facial hair part of puberty a while ago, so he was used to that.

                He just wasn’t used to people noticing it. One of the benefits of being blonde, he supposed. It’s hard to notice unless he lets it get out of control. But getting all up in his personal space and all, it was probably easy to feel.

                That thought made him feel oddly fluttery. Just the fact that Ling had been so close to notice. While it was a little too sappy, it did feel nice.

                “Or you could go without shaving,” Ling mused. “I think you might be able to pull off a beard pretty well.”

                And the moment was ruined. With a glare, he clapped his hands together before bringing both to the sides of his face. The tingle of Alchemy felt a bit weird on his skin, but he was used to it by now.

                “Did you just-” Ling stared at him. “Did you just use Alchemy to shave?”

                “It’s a lot faster,” Ed said. “At least for someone who knows what they’re doing and doesn’t have to draw out a transmutation circle.”

                “That’s… a bit excessive,” he said.

                “Maybe,” he shrugged. “But it’s a pretty close shave.”

                Ling’s hand was on his face, and suddenly that fluttery feeling was back. Strange how these things worked in extremes. Even stranger was that he liked that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I like writing 'good' breakdown scenes better than 'bad' breakdown scenes. Know what I mean?
> 
> Also, if you missed the screaming in the comments section a few chapters ago, maybe you'll notice the wording on which character(s) are alive in this au?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 99% fluff, but there is one trigger warning for a passing mention of an adult flirting with a teenager.

                “I thought we were rotating teams?” Ed asked.

                Both Chimeras stopped their trek into the woods to give him an exasperated look.

                “We were,” Heinkel said, before gesturing to Greed and Ling. “But those two can’t separate.”

                “What does that have to do with anything?” Ling demanded. “Since Greed and I can’t be on separate teams we’re ignoring team switching altogether?”

                “Yes,” Darius answered, massaging an oncoming headache. “Because if I have to deal with you two bickering on my own again, I’m going to snap.”

                “Ah, yes,” Greed nodded. “Wouldn’t want you going completely ape shit on us”

                Only glaring at the pun, Darius turned his attention to Ed.

                “How do you put up with them?” Darius wondered. “Whenever they get going, I can’t even get a word in. But you can just come up and drop right into their conversation!”

                Ed and Greed shared a look, before grinning back at him.

                “You’re an only child, aren’t you?” they both asked.

                At that, he just rolled his eyes and stomped off into the forest.

                “Just- just try not to light the place on fire until we get back,” Heinkel told them before following.

                Ed rolled his eyes, watching them wander off. They were barely past the treeline when he felt Ling wrap his arms around him.

                “I don’t think this is too bad,” Ling mused. “If we’re teamed up all the time, it means more time to ourselves!”

                “Y-yeah,” Ed nodded, trying to ignore the ideas in his head. “But they’ll probably kill us if we don’t at least set up the tents before they get back.”

                “Fair,” he said. “Then again, they do expect us to light the place on fire.”

                “Even for us that’s a bit ridiculous,” he laughed, moving away to start work on the tents.

                “Come on,” he said. “You work with Mustang all the time and you never asked how to light stuff on fire?”

                “Of course I asked,” he said. “But he was all ‘hell the fuck no I am not going to let an angry teenager know how to light everything on fire with a snap!’. While I understand his reasoning, I’m still going to be upset about it.”

                “And you didn’t think to figure it out on your own?” Greed asked.

                “You want an answer, you’d better help!” he said.

                Greed easily caught the pack that was thrown at him. Shaking his head, he began messing with the various poles and canvases.

                “You’re right, I did try to figure Mustang’s Alchemy out on my own,” Ed said. “It’s easy to tell that he transmutes the air to be flammable and uses the gloves to set off the spark. But the trick I haven’t figured out is how precise it is. If I tried it, it’d literally blow up in my face. And I don’t know about you, but I like having eyebrows!”

                “Going to let a little thing like eyebrows stop you from arson crimes?” Greed teased.

                “Don’t tempt me,” he said.

                Setting up the tents didn’t take much longer. It only took a few more minutes to clear a spot for the campfire Lighting it would have to wait until their companions got back with the firewood, of course. Ed debated about setting some traps for dinner, but he figured he'd wait and see if the Chimeras caught anything on the way.

                “Can I ask something?” Ling wondered, settling down in the grass.

                “Like it’s stopped you before?” Ed replied. “Go ahead, I guess.”

                “Is there a reason you haven’t been braiding your hair lately?” he asked.

                “Oh,” he said. “Not particularly. It’s just easier to go for the ponytail instead of the full braid. Haven’t really had the energy to do it in the mornings with the whole ‘on a ridiculous camping trip’ thing.”

                “That’s fair,” he nodded. “You know, it’ll probably be a while before they get back. Would you like me to-”

                “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he cut him off.

                “I do know how to handle long hair,” he retorted, playing with his own ponytail. “I might not have as much practice with braids, but I think I have the basics down.”

                “No, it’s just-” he stopped taking a breath. “Nevermind. It’s okay. We can do that.”

                Ed ducked into the tent and searched through his bag. Despite the fact that they were on the run and all, he did have to splurge a little on their budget and buy a decent hairbrush. The Chimeras might’ve been okay with cheap dollar store combs, but Ed’s hair would’ve broken those in a day.

                He’d been planning on bringing it up, thinking it might get a laugh. But when he came back out of the tent he saw Ling frowning at him.

                “You okay?” Ed asked.

                “Are you?” Ling replied. “It’s okay if you’re not comfortable with it, but you need to tell me.”

                “Oh,” he said. “I mean, it's fine.”

                “So something is bothering you,” he said.

                “Sort of,” he said, handing him the brush and sitting in front of him. “I just don’t usually like people touching my hair. There’s few people I trust enough to let them do it anyway. Even then, most of the time it’s still a bit awkward. But I’m okay with it.”

                “Thanks for telling me,” he said, hesitantly taking Ed’s hairtie out. “Is it really that bad?”

                “It can be,” he said. “Especially if it’s someone I don’t know who thinks ‘wow, your hair is so pretty so you must like when people play with it!’. I once punched a General in the face for that!”

                “Not to bring down the mood,” Greed cut in, “But that sounded ungodly creepy.”

                “It.. it was creepy,” he admitted. “Fucker must’ve gotten the hint though because I haven’t seen him since. It’s not why the hair touching is a problem though. I never liked it, even as a kid.”

                “Sorry that happened,” Ling said.

                “It’s fine,” he shrugged.

                “I’m going to start banning that phrase,” he threatened. “Are you still okay with this though?”

                “Yeah,” he said. “I trust you.”

                He let himself relax as Ling continued to mess with his hair. It did feel oddly nice. It also felt somewhat intimate. Part of him found that strange. But it was the feeling someone he loved running their hands through his hair, fingertips occasionally grazing his ears or the back of his neck and sending shivers down his spine.

                It was also fun to laugh at Ling’s mutterings of confusion at just how much hair there was. Ed sighed in contentment, feeling him going from detangling to actual braiding. Mind wandering, he found himself humming.

                “How’d you learn that?” Ling asked.

                “What are you talking about?” Ed asked in response, resisting the urge to turn.

                “That song you were humming,” he said. “Where’d you learn it?”

                “I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted. “It’s something Al and I end up humming a lot. We think it might’ve been something mom used as a lullaby when we were little.”

                “Strange song for a lullaby,” he said.

                “You know it?” he wondered. “I can’t remember the lyrics right. Every time I think I do it ends up as gibberish.”

                “Maybe it’s because it’s in another language?” he said. “If it’s the song I think it is, it’s an old Xingese folksong.”

                He sang a few lines, and Ed felt a bittersweet nostalgia wash over him.

                “That’s the same melody,” Ed said. “I don’t recognize the lyrics though.”

                “Who knows then,” Ling said. “How’s the braid, by the way?”

                “A little loose,” he answered, moving his head to feel it out. “It’ll last until I go to sleep though. What were you saying about the song? It was strange for a lullaby?”

                “It’s kind of depressing,” he said. “It’s called ‘The Nightingale's Dream’. A direct translation would have too many syllables to sing properly, but the general ‘story’ to it is about a woman being separated from her lover, waiting for them to come back.”

                “That is depressing,” he said.

                “I have to wonder though,” he mused. “Where would your mom have learned a Xingese folk song.”

                Ed had an idea. It was the one that made the most sense, yet seemed impossible at the same time. While he was working on talking about things more, that was not a can of worms he wanted to open right now.

                The thought was pushed aside as he felt a kiss pressed into the back of his neck. He squirmed at the feeling but found Ling’s arms around him pulling him back. His head thumped against Ling’s chest, half-laying on him at just a low enough angle that he could look up at him.

                “Hmm,” Ling mused. “You wouldn’t happen to be ticklish, would you?”

                “Don’t,” Ed warned.

                “Alright,” he sighed in mock disappointment. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re cute when your face is all red like that?”

                “Bet I look real fucking adorable,” he said, covering his face and sinking lower.

                “Absolutely,” he said. “Especially when you’re smiling about it!”

                “Yeah, well, you’re pretty when you smile too,” he said.

                “You sure about that?” he teased. “I’m pretty sure you tossed me out the window for it once.”

                “That was because you ordered all of the room service,” he muttered.

                “Look on the bright side!” he said. “Once we’re in Xing, I can pay you back tenfold. A feast fit for an Emperor.”

                “You’d better,” he said, reaching up to put his hand on Ling’s face. “But I mean it. I like when you smile. Not that usual dumb grin you do, but like this. When you’re actually smiling.”

                Ling just stared back, his own face turning just as red as Ed’s had been. Ed really wished he knew what Ling was saying when he went all red and flustered, but it was in Xingese of course. While it would be easy to ask, he had a feeling Ling wouldn’t want him to know what embarrassing things he was muttering.

                “Ugh,” Greed took over. “You two are making me sick.”

                “Hush,” Ed said, lightly smacking Greed’s nose. “Let us be all sweet and sappy.”

                “It’d be tolerable if I didn’t have to feel every gushy part of it too,” he said. “But no, I get to share a body with this love-struck dumbass and feel all of your stupid fluttery emotions.”

                “What, are you getting flustered too?” he joked.

                “That’s not-” he sighed. “Whatever. Have your fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greed is having some problems ain't he? 
> 
> I think every series I write for has some variation of "I'm banning the phrase 'I'm fine'!". Also know that 99% of the time if I reference Ed's hair issues it's self-projection.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that I love every comment? Because I do.

                “Please tell me this is what I think it is,” Ed said.

                “A large, abandoned hunting cabin,” Heinkel nodded.

                “You sure it’s abandoned?” Ling asked.

                “It’s not hunting season so probably,” Darius answered.

                “In that case,” Greed began, “I say we use this to our advantage!”

                Before anyone else could say anything, he was already through the door. The rest of them followed, though a bit more cautious in case they were wrong. The decent layer of dust inside did indicate that there wasn’t anyone around.

                Despite the dust, it seemed like quite the good setup. It was practically more of a vacation house than a hunting cabin. They walked into a large kitchen, and he could see a sort of dining room area in the next room. If Ed had to guess, he’d say there was probably a bedroom or two somewhere.

                “We might’ve lucked out here,” Darius said, inspecting the kitchen sink.

                “Hey, don’t go cursing us,” Ed said. “If you start that up then we’re going to find out the place is haunted or some shit!”

                “Aren’t you scientist types supposed to be skeptical of ghosts?” Heinkel wondered.

                Ed sighed and looked up at him with an unimpressed stare.

                “Really,” Ed said. “I’m in an abandoned hunting cabin with two Chimeras and a Xingese prince sharing his body with a Homunculus. And that’s not even the weirdest thing I’ve seen in the past year. I’m not ruling out the possibility of ghosts, but if they do exist I’m going to be fucking pissed.”

                “Point taken,” Heinkel said. “Better not get us haunted then.”

                “Don’t know about that,” Darius said. “But I was talking about how we might be able to get a shower without hopping in the nearest river.”

                “Okay, that’s worth being haunted,” Ed said.

                “Keep talking,” Heinkel said.

                “Sink looks hooked up to something,” Darius said. “It might just be hooked into something that collects rain water, but if the people who own this place are real fancy...”

                “Is it ready to go or do we need to do anything?” Ed asked.

                “Might need to hook it up properly,” he said. “Give me a bit to see what I can do.”

                Ed left him to it and looked around. He was right about there being some bedrooms. And a shower! Oh boy was he happy for that. There wasn’t much else other than basic furniture, but that was fine with him.

                Passing the second bedroom, a thought popped into his head. Ed was really glad everyone was in the other room because they would’ve asked what was making him so red. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thought, but it did spook him a little.

                It shouldn’t, really. He and Ling had been sharing a tent for a while, sleeping next to each other. Lately they’d been cuddling up during the night. Yet it was a little different when the idea of an actual bed came into play.

                He did manage to calm himself a bit. The context was different, but nothing had to happen. He wouldn’t entirely mind if something did happen, but…. And there was the freaking out again.

                By the time he fully calmed down and made it back to the kitchen, Darius was still trying to figure out the pipes. He also found Greed searching through the kitchen cupboards.

                “What’re you looking for?” Ed asked.

                “Kinda hoping the people who own this place left some alcohol lying around,” Greed answered. “Haven’t had a drink since before I died.”

                “I think ‘alcohol’ and ‘hunting’ sounds like a bad idea,” he said.

                “Fair,” he said. “In that case you can say I’m doing them a favor by stealing their scotch.”

                “Are you even old enough to drink?” Heinkel asked.

                Apparently deciding to put his cupboard rummaging on hold, Greed came back to the table. He had a thoughtful expression on his face.

                “That’s… a good question,” Greed said. “On one hand, I was first made about two hundred years ago. On the other hand, I died and came back so you could say I’m only a few months old. Not to mention how this body is effecting me.”

                “How it’s effecting you?” Ed wondered.

                “Teenagers and hormones,” Heinkel said.

                “Ugh,” Greed replied. “You’re right and I hate it.”

                “Now that I’m thinking about it,” Ling took over,” your age is interesting. Before this situation, I would’ve considered an Immortal to be ‘frozen in time’ at whatever age they became Immortal. But you were created and never really ‘grew up’.”

                “How old do you feel?” Ed asked. “I mean, do you feel like you’re fifteen like Ling, or do you feel like a grown ass adult?”

                “I don’t have a frame of reference,” Greed said. “If you didn’t know me how old do you’d think I’d be?”

                “Older than him,” Darius answered, gesturing to Ed. “But not old enough to drink. And even if you’re old enough, I’m not letting you get the teens drunk too.”

                “Other than Greed’s questionable age,” Ed said, “technically Ling’s the only one not allowed to drink. Legal technicalities around making a twelve year old a State Alchemist include the right to get drunk. Haven’t tried it, though I doubt a bar would believe me if I tried.”

                “All of you are banned from drinking,” Heinkel said. “I do not want to deal with the headache of you being drunk.”

                “It’s not like I can even get that drunk,” Greed huffed. “Even with my tolerance being shot due to the new body, my regeneration cancels out the effects too quick that I’d have to slam a few shots before it kicks in good enough. Screw it. I found a deck of cards in the other room. Who wants to play poker?”

                “And you’ve gone from drinking to gambling,” Ed said.

                “Don’t know if you noticed,” Heinkel began, “but we don’t have anything to gamble with.”

                “That’s fine,” Greed said. “Clearly you’ve never played poker with me.”

                “There’s no way in hell we’re playing strip poker,” Darius said.

                “I’m with him on this one!” Ling switched in. “Absolutely not!

                “What?” Ed laughed. “The guy who only put on a shirt because he got possessed doesn’t want to play strip poker?”

                He’d expected a joke response, maybe teasing him back. Instead, Ling turned a bit red and wouldn’t meet his face. Remembering his own earlier thoughts, Ed felt his own face do the same.

                “It’s different,” Ling defended. “Shirtless is one thing, but would you be comfortable stripping down to underwear?”

                “Kinda,” Ed shrugged. “One of the side effects of Automail that no one mentions.”

                “I’m not even going to ask,” Darius sighed.

                “I am,” Greed snickered. “Maybe I should update the joke to ‘Team Daddy Issues’! I wasn’t even suggesting strip poker!”

                “Shut your fuck,” Ed replied. “The Automail leg goes to mid-thigh. If I need it worked on, it’s easier to just take off my pants than it is to tug them up. Not to mention whenever Winry wants to show off her skills as a mechanic, I end up put on display.”

                “You know,” Heinkel said, rubbing his face. “That’s the first time you’ve given an explanation something that hasn’t sounded weirder than the thing you were explaining.”

                “I doubt we would've got the same from ‘how to gamble without money or clothing’,” Darius said.

                “Easy,” Greed said, much to both Chimera’s exasperation. “Everything in existence belongs to me, so you can only bet on things not in existence. Like the concept of time or days of the week or something.”

                “You were right,” Heinkel said. “It didn’t make sense.”

                “So what?” Ed asked. “You can just bet a month of the year?’

                “Well I can bet eleven of them,” Greed shrugged. “I lost June to Pride back in 1763, but the rest of the year is still mine!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have three emotions: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and >:3c


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that... goes places >:3c
> 
> That said, some trigger warnings apply due to conversations. There are discussions of toxic/abusive relationships and the subject of rape(nothing specific on that, but just the possibility gets brought up). I don't think there's anything that those don't cover, but feel free to message me if I need to update that or if you want clarification.

                The shower had been fucking freezing, but it was still better than jumping in a river to wash off. Ed only cared that he was decently cleaned. If only he could get his hair to dry faster.

                Right now, Ed was staring in the mirror. It had been a while since he’d actually seen himself. It had been even longer since he paid attention to his reflection.

                He was a little shocked of how much he’d changed when he wasn’t thinking about it. Not just in height, though he was sure he’d gained a bit of that. But he thought he looked a bit older, his face losing some of the teenage roundness to it.

                Leaning forward, Ed rubbed the spot above his eyebrow. He’d kind of hoped that cut wouldn’t leave a scar, but considering how long it took to heal he wasn’t surprised. At least it was only left a faint mark. Not like some of the other ones. 

                Deciding not to dwell on it, he made his way out of the bathroom and to one of the cabin’s bedrooms. He half expected for Ling to be asleep. After all, he’d managed to gamble his way into first to shower. Yet he was still sitting up when Ed walked in.

                “Hey,” Ed grinned, pausing to grab his hairbrush from the bag.

                “Hey, yourself,” Ling replied. “Bet you feel better after a shower.”

                “Absolutely,” he said. “I probably look better too, don’t I?”

                “I don’t know,” he teased. “I think I got kinda used to you looking like you just rolled down a hill.”

                “I’m sure we could find a hill to roll down” he replied. “Just know that I’m taking you with me.”

                Jokes aside, Ed did find himself staring at Ling. Even just casually sitting on the side of the bed like that, he looked fantastic. His hair looked fluffier now that it was freshly washed. He'd left it down, hanging around his shoulders. That thought led Ed's gaze down to his arms. As much as he complained about Ling and Greed's fashion choices, they did know how to pick shirts that showed off the arms. As his gaze continued to wander further down, his earlier thoughts resurfaced. 

                And yet, actually facing the possibility, he didn't feel nearly as spooked by the thought. As Ed tried to meet his eyes, he noticed that Ling seemed to be checking him out just as much, likely thinking something very similar as well. He waited for him to notice that he’d been caught. When those dark eyes did finally look up, Ling gave a smile. Sheepish, but absolutely not sorry at all.

                Putting the hairbrush down, Ed crossed the room and dragged him into a kiss. Ling returned the kiss, using one hand to pull him closer while the other moved up to tangle itself in Ed’s golden hair.

                Ed pushed him back onto the bed, though not as smoothly as he would’ve liked, considering they ended up bumping their heads together. Both paused to rub the pain and laugh a little, but quickly resumed.

                He wasn’t sure if they flipped or rolled over or what, but Ed suddenly found himself on his back, being pressed into the mattress. Any objections he might’ve had melted away when he felt the friction kick in and oh boy he couldn’t really think of much at all after that.

                Ling’s kisses made their way along Ed’s jawline. In between every kiss was something muttered in Xingese that Ed didn’t understand, but his mind filled in the blanks. Especially as the kisses went further down, trailing along his jawline. 

                Ed tried not to make a noise when Ling nipped at his neck. He knew he wasn’t successful when he felt Ling smile against him before biting down again. This time he couldn’t help the vocal response, which Ling took as an invitation to slide his hands under Ed’s shirt.

                Suddenly, Ling moved away. Ed went to pull him in again, taking his face and pulling him back up in an attempt to recapture him in another kiss.

                “Hold up there, Goldilocks.”

                Ed frowned and opened his eyes to find purple in his vision.

                “We were in the middle of something,” Ed panted.

                “Trust me, I know exactly what you’re in the middle of,” Greed smiled. “And I know where you’re headed. Which is why I need to talk to you about some things.”

                Ed was suddenly very aware of the fact that, while it had been Ling before, right now those were Greed’s hands on him.

                He moved, with every intention to push Greed away. But the second he let go, Greed pushed himself up. Still, Ed couldn’t help but scoot himself back against the headboard.

                “See, I have two questions for you,” Greed said. “Well, more something to remind you of and a question. First is whether or not you’d want me involved. I’m not entirely sure how this would work, but I think between the three of us we can figure something out.”

                “What?” Ed said, still trying to properly collect his thoughts.

                “Anyway,” he said. “If it’s a no to that, then I need to remind you that I’m still here. I have a front-row seat to anything you want to do. I don’t have much objection, but you might. I guess the question is, how much do you want this?”

                Within a second, Greed was gone. Ling immediately began spouting apologies, but Ed couldn’t quite hear it. His mind had caught up, and it went to places he didn’t want.

                All he could feel for a moment was terror. That sort of gut-wrenching terror that was probably one of the few things that could still scare him nowadays.

                It terrified him how easily Greed had taken over just then. He kept thinking of the fact that he could’ve done that later, while he was with Ling. If he took over mid-way, there wouldn’t be anything Ed could do to stop him.

                Then he started thinking of how many opportunities he’d had before. Any time Ed and Ling had been together, heated kisses either out in the woods or late at night in their tent. Too many times where, if Ling had decided to go for something more, Ed would have let him. And if it had been Greed instead, he wouldn’t have known until it was too late.

                And yet… despite that opportunity, Greed hadn’t taken it. Usually he left them alone during that. There was occasional snarky comment of course, but even then he would take his hands away. Never touching more than he had to, only when Ed was the one who didn’t bother to push him off.

                Somehow, he found that calming. Comforting. Despite the thoughts going through his head of what could be done, he felt as if it was safe to say it wouldn’t happen.

                “Are you okay?” Ling asked.

                “Yeah,” Ed answered, “Just-just thinking. About where we were going before.”

                Ling looked him over, trying to guess what all was on his mind. Then he reached over and took Ed’s hand.

                “Sorry about that,” Ling said. “Both Greed interrupting and- I don’t know. Maybe it’s too early for this. I mean, it doesn’t feel like it, but we have been around each other all the time since we got together so it feels like we’ve been together longer. I guess it’s still probably too early, isn’t it?”

                “I-uh, wouldn’t know?” Ed answered. “I’ve never actually, you know, been with anyone like that.”

                “Oh, right,” he said. “That-that makes sense.”

                Now it was Ed’s turn to go quiet and tilt his head in confusion.

                “Did I,” Ed began, “I mean, was there something that made you think I had or…?”

                “Not exactly,” Ling answered. “Mostly I didn’t think about it. Though you did mention a handful of dates and all. I guess I figured some of them might’ve tried for that, you know?”

                “Not really,” he said, frowning a little. “I mean, one did. But-”

                “It wasn’t… something bad, was it?” he asked a bit hesitantly. “I know you mentioned some creepy general, but I didn’t think about-”

                “No, nothing like that!” he assured. “I mean, that general was creepy but it didn’t go anywhere past that. And the one date was more, uh, miscommunication.”

                “Miscommunication?” he parroted.

                “Kinda,” he nodded. “The date had gone really, really well, and we ended up sneaking off to make out. I thought it was just that, but he started trying, well, for something more. And I think you know me well enough to guess how I handled that.”

                “Panicked and punched him?” he guessed.

                “Panicked and punched him,” he said. “We spent the next half hour awkwardly apologizing. He wasn’t actually trying to be creepy, he just thought it was what I wanted.”

                “Yeah, that can be a problem,” he sighed.

                His expression was far more melancholy than Ed expected. Part of him wanted to ask why, part of him wanted to avoid it. But Ed had been learning on that front. This seemed like something to talk about.

                “What about you?” Ed asked. “I mean, unless I’m wrong about it, but I thought you implied that you’d been with someone before.”

                “I have,” Ling admitted. “There were two people, actually.”

                “And did that-” he stopped and swallowed. “Uh, your comment about miscommunication.”

                “It’s not a problem,” he said.

                “Ling,” he frowned. “You’ve been trying to get me to talk about things, remember? That goes both ways.”

                Ling sighed, muttering something that sounded like the Xingese equivalent of ‘I hate when you’re right’. His hold on Ed’s hand grew tighter as he took a shaky breath.

                “Do you remember what I said?” Ling wondered. “About things I thought I had to give up? Romance is hard when your future job is supposed to include fifty wives. I had to learn that lesson the hard way.”

                “Oh,” Ed said. “I can see a few reasons that’d be a problem.”

                “I had to learn it twice,” he said. “Both of them thought I was lying to them about liking them, using them for sex. Because why would I waste my time with them when I have that in my future?”

                “And they didn’t reject you?” he guessed.

                “They decided to play along,” he said. “The first one, she only played along for a few weeks. Thought I was taking her on dates to seduce her. I slept with her, and the next day she stopped talking to me. Eventually I managed to talk to her, found out why she did that. She apologized, at least, realizing how wrong she was. But even if she had been interested in trying for something real, after that-”

                “You couldn’t trust her,” he finished. “I’m pretty sure anyone would’ve felt the same.”

                “Sad to say that she was the better experience,” he said. “The second was a guy, and he- he felt that if I was going to use him, he was going to use me. We were together for months. Looking back I can see how bad it all was, but I-I thought we were in love. But he was just-”

                Ling paused to rub at his face. Though he wasn’t quite crying yet, his eyes were getting to the watery stage. Ed scooted himself closer, trying to find words to say. In the end, he just pulled him into a hug, gently running his hand through his hair in what he hoped was a comforting motion.

                “The day I found out was hell,” Ling said. “It had already been hell before that. One of my half-siblings kidnapped him to be ‘bait’ for a trap. Of course, when they grabbed him, he’d been on a date with his ‘real’ boyfriend, so they had to grab both of them. We fought, of course. He still doesn’t believe I wasn’t just using him.”

                “That’s… fucked,” Ed said.

                “One way to put it,” he nodded. “It made me realize how fucked the whole situation is. So I- that’s what I meant. About giving things up. I had to go through that, because of a stupid political system. If I didn’t win now, then it was for nothing. So I told myself I wouldn’t try again, not until It was over. Pretty selfish of me, isn’t it?”

                “A little,” he admitted. “But you’re planning to change the system, so that no one else has to deal with that. I think that’s pretty selfless.”

                “I have other reasons now too,” he said. “More plans for my country, other changes to make. Want to hear something that’s probably completely stupid and crazy?”

                “I think you just summed up every idea I’ve ever had,” he said.

                “Maybe,” he laughed. “But… Part of me is glad it happened. It was terrible, but if it didn’t happen, then I wouldn’t be here, with you.”

                “You’re right, it’s stupid and crazy,” he shook his head. “But I get it. I- I absolutely get it.”

                There was a thought running through Ed’s mind. Several thoughts actually, but most were ones he did not want to unpack right now. One thought though, it was something knew he had to talk about before it screwed something up.

                “When I-” Ed swallowed. “When I told you that I still have feelings for Winry, did that- did that freak you out?”

                “No,” Ling answered a bit hastily.

                “All things considered, I doubt that,” he retorted.

                “It’s...” he sighed. “It scared me a little. A lot. But I know you better than that. As you said, ‘you’re an asshole, but you’re not that kind of asshole’. You care too much about people to do that. You’re even all concerned over it. I trust you.”

                “Okay, just-” he said. “Just tell me if it’s upsetting you, okay?”

                “Hey now,” he said. “Are you actually telling me to talk about my problems?”

                “Shut it,” he muttered. “I’m trying, okay?”

                “I know,” he smiled. “And I’m glad.”

                Ling leaned up and kissed him again. He’d meant to go for just a short one, but Ed took his face and made it last a bit longer.

                “Hey, uh,” Ed began. “Maybe the mood’s kind of ruined, with all the depressing talk, but if you wanted to go back to what we were doing before...”

                “Are you okay with that?” Ling asked.

                “Yes,” he said. “I- I want this. I’m mildly nervous about it, but I want this.”

                “Even with-” he started. “I mean, Greed had a point about how he’s aware of everything we do. If you’re not okay with that...”

                Ed took a shaky breath. Despite where his mind went, thinking of the risks, he found his answer was still the same.

                “I don’t want him involved,” Ed said. “And- and I trust him to stick to that.”

                “Oh, oh god!” Ling stammered. “I hadn’t even thought of- I mean, he wouldn’t-that’s- If there was any chance I thought he might do something like that I wouldn’t even suggest- fuck! You don’t have to believe me but I can feel what he feels and he hadn’t even thought of that and now he’s disgusted at even the idea of-”

                He was cut off by another kiss from Ed. After backing up, he just stared in bewilderment.

                “I get it,” Ed said. “And as I said, I trust him. So please?”

                “Okay,” Ling agreed. “But if you change your mind, you can tell me.”

                “Fair,” he nodded.

                “Look on the bright side though,” he said. “Thanks to him, I do have some nice teeth, don’t you think?”

                Those teeth were showed off in a wide grin as he said it. Ed gave a squeak of embarrassment as his face turned red. That got a snicker out of Ling.

                “You’re just teasing me at this point, aren’t you?” Ed grumbled.

                “Don’t worry,” Ling replied. “You’ll know when I’m teasing you.”

                Somehow his face became even redder, and it only got worse as Ling kissed him again and picked up where they left off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter of trigger warnings: the subject of rape comes up again, but in the same context as last chapter. Also some injury and blood, and overall breakdown stuff. 
> 
> *Spins roulette wheel* Whose turn is it for a breakdown?!

                Ed woke up feeling oddly well-rested.

                Well, not really. Honestly he was still pretty exhausted and a little sore. But there was something about waking up all snuggled against someone you love. Especially as he became aware enough to remember the night before, and the fact that they were both still very naked.

                Of course he realized it was probably just the brain chemicals still in his system making him feel like that. Hoping to get some more sleep, he nuzzled closer into Ling’s chest and mentally went over what specific chemicals those were. Counting that was better than counting sheep.

                “Morning,” Ling mumbled.

                “Hey,” Ed replied, moving to look at his face. “Didn’t think you were up.”

                “Getting there,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

                “Goddamn tired,” he said. “And I definitely need another shower now.”

                “Understandable,” he laughed. “Would you like me to join you?

                Ed had kind of hoped that, after last night, he would be a little less flustered in situations like this. Yet he was still blushing like wild at the offer.

                “That’s… tempting,” Ed answered. “But I think that ruins the point of taking a shower.”

                “Fair enough,” Ling replied.

                “You can go first,” he said. “I’m going to get a bit more sleep.”

                Laughing at that, Ling kissed him before moving to get up. Ed wanted to drag him back to bed, but knew that they should probably get going. Still, this was one of the times he understood the phrase ‘I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away’.

                At some point he must’ve fallen asleep again, because soon enough Ling was gently shaking him awake.

                “Your turn,” Ling said.

                Ed nodded and reluctantly got up. As he grabbed a pair of pants to toss on, he could feel Ling’s gaze on him. It wasn’t quite the same as the kind he gave last night, but it still felt loving and appreciative.

                That said, Ed decided to head for a shower instead of giving into the ideas running through his head that would make Ling need yet another shower.

                Heading into the bathroom, he found himself looking in the mirror again. It’s not as if he expected to look different or anything. Still, he couldn’t help checking.

                Honestly, all he found ‘different’ was the number of hickies and straight up bite marks on him. That was unfair, if only because Ling didn’t have any marks on him. Fuck his healing bullshit.

                The shower was still cold, but he took his time anyway. Still, what he wouldn’t give for a real warm shower. With some actual decent conditioner.

                As he walked back to the room, he found it odd that the Chimeras weren’t up yet. Usually they got up first. Oh well. Maybe they were just enjoying having an actual bed for once. Considering how late of a start they were getting, it might be worth it to stay here a second night instead.

                That thought was interrupted when he got back to the room and found Greed waiting for him. He was still half-dressed, missing his shirt, and seemed to be waiting for Ed to get back.

                “You’re interesting,” Greed said.

                “I’ve been told that,” Ed replied, ignoring him in favor of grabbing his hairbrush and a shirt of his own.

                “Why did you trust me?” he asked.

                “The hell kind of question is that?” he wondered. “You’re my friend, dipshit.”

                Within a second, Greed was standing and far too close to him. For a moment, Ed was reminded of the fact that he could be intimidating and dangerous when he wanted to be. Despite that, he didn’t back down.

                “It’s a question I want the answer to,” Greed said. “A real answer, not just shrugging it off with a half-assed comment about friendship.

                “It’s not a half-assed-” Ed rolled his eyes. “Fine, you want a different answer? Then tell me why you didn’t try something. You could’ve kept quiet last night and done anything you wanted to me. Or even any other time, you could’ve just pretended to be Ling for long enough-”

                “Other than the fact that I have some morals?” he scoffed. “Hell, even the rest of the family is disgusted by the idea of doing that to someone. Probably the one line they won’t cross.”

                “If I can’t say ‘I trust you as a friend’, then you can’t say that,” he retorted. “And while you’re at it, you can tell me why you’re pretending that you can’t control who’s in charge.”

                “No idea what you mean,” he said.

                “Yes, you do,” he said. “Ling wouldn’t have let you even try to take over when you interrupted last night, and he would be stopping you right now if he could. Or even just adding his own commentary! You want everything, right? Well, what does this get you? If it doesn’t get you access to me, then what the hell do you want?”

                Greed looked surprised by that, but didn’t respond right away. Instead, he brought a hand up to Ed’s face. There was hesitation, as if he expected him to flinch away. When he didn’t, Greed put his hand on Ed's cheek, and his other hand on his waist, pulling them closer. 

                “It would be fun, you know,” Greed said. “I might not feel quite the same way about you as he does, but, well, you are attractive. And if you let me, you’d be seeing stars for days.”

                Ed tried not to react to that. He had a feeling that it wasn’t all talk. Even so, despite the look he was getting right now, he didn’t feel scared.

                “You’re right,” Greed said. “I want everything in existence. But this? The idea of you being with me? That only exists if you want it to.”

                “Why?” Ed asked.

                “Other than some morality,” he began. “If I take you by force, you’ll never be mine. Humans are… strange. You can never truly own them.”

                “You do realize-” he began.

                “Oh, I’m very aware of slavery,” he rolled his eyes. “After all, we’re both here because of the risks a slave will take to be free. And that is my point. A slave will always try to get away from their owner.”

                “But you don’t want that,” he guessed.

                “Humans only truly belong to someone if they do so willingly,” he said. “That’s what I want. People who chose to stay, give me as much of themselves as they want, for as long as I- for as long as they can.”

                “Like- like a friend?” he said, giving an amused smile.

                “Yeah, well,” he sighed, taking his hands away. “Call it whatever you want.”

                Ed tried to puzzle that out. Puzzle him out. He wanted friends, but didn’t want to admit to it. Considering what happened to his last friends, it wasn’t that surprising but-

                Oh. A few pieces clicked into place. What was it he said about want? Wanting to be loved, wanting to protect those you care for.

                “It wasn’t for you, was it?” Ed asked.

                “Huh?” Greed said.

                “You were trying to figure out how Al works,” he said. “But not for you. If you wanted more Immortality, you could’ve made more Philosophers Stones. But for a Human, that’s more likely to kill them in the process. You needed a safer way to-”

                “Don’t-” he began.

                “You wanted to keep them,” he said. “I- I get it. If you’d asked first instead of- okay I probably still would’ve told you to fuck off because I’m me. That’s what I do. But if you told us-”

                “Don’t you dare!” he snapped. “Don’t you dare tell me that you would’ve helped! That you care about me now! If I wasn’t literally stuck with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t have even offered to keep me around! So how about we do us both a favor and quit pretending I can be something I’m not?!”

                As Greed talked on, Ed saw the way he shook, watched the shield appear on is hands. It didn’t stop there though. The shield kept going up his arms. Ed moved forward, reaching out to him.

                “St-stay back!” Greed shouted.

                Ed did take a step back, but not quick enough. He hissed in pain feeling carbon-tipped claws across his chest. Looking down, the damage didn’t seem too bad. He was definitely bleeding, but it didn’t seem too deep.

                That could be dealt with later. Right now, he was more concerned with Greed. His purple eyes were wild, flicking quickly between the cuts on Ed’s chest and the blood on is hand. His breathing was getting more rapid, and the shield had reached his shoulders, beginning to stretch across his torso as well.

                Ed tried again, making sure his moments were slow and deliberate. This time he was able to take Greed’s hand, try to give a reassuring squeeze through the shield.

                It was effective enough, momentarily bringing Greed back to the here and now. In the next second, he was sinking down to his knees. Ed slowly followed him down, taking the opportunity to get closer again.

                “I meant it when I said you’re my friend,” Ed said. “It doesn’t sound like a compliment to say ‘you show up in my nightmares’, but to me, that’s how I know I care about someone. I dream about them dying.”

                Greed rubbed at his face with his free hand. Despite the scenario, Ed didn’t quite know how to respond when he started crying.

                “Maybe-,” Ed swallowed. “There’s a chance someone made it out of the Devil’s Nest. Maybe, after this is over, we can head back and look around.”

                “No,” Greed said. “There’s no one. Not- not anymore.”

                “Not anymore?” he wondered.

                “One-one made it out,” he said. “He tried to find me. But I- I didn’t- I couldn’t remember anything. Father’s orders were to- to kill any trespassers. So I- I just- by the time I realized...”

                Oh. Ed could fill in the blanks on the rest of that, especially watching Greed’s eyes flick to the scratches on his chest again.

                Before he could think of something to say, Greed collapsed into him. He could feel the wetness of tears on him as Greed buried his face into his neck. Still trying to find his voice, Ed found himself hugging him closer.

                “Why am I like this?” Greed asked, more rhetorically than anything. “Why do I- why do I feel like this? Can’t even blame this fucking body-sharing experience. I’ve been like this for a hundred years. Ever since Felix- no, before then. I-I’ve been like this the whole time.”

                “It’s normal,” Ed said. “It’s normal to care about people. To be upset when they die. That’s just part of being...”

                “You forgot for a moment too,” he said, laughing almost bitterly. “It’s ‘just part of being Human’. But I’m not Human. And no amount of- of this, will change that.”

                “I don’t have to ‘change it’,” he replied. “You’re not ‘a human’, but you’re still Human. I mean, even by definition. Homunculus, an artificially created Human. You still care, you still feel everything a Human does, because you’re just as Human as I am.”

                “You know you don’t believe that,” he said. “If you do, you have to believe that about the rest of us.”

                “I do,” he said. “Even if I didn’t before, when you talk about them, how they were with you, I see it. And- and you’re allowed to think like that too. To love them, even as terrible as they are. That’s Human too, I think. To love the good memories we have of bad people.”

                “You’re crazy to think that,” he said.

                “I might be,” he said. “But it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. And even if I am, you’re still my friend.”

                Ed felt Greed’s shield retreat, his skin returning to soft warmth. For a moment, he felt the hug being returned. Then his whole body seemed to relax a bit.

                “Hey there,” Ling said.

                “Are you okay?” Ed asked. “Is he okay?”

                “He’s...” he tried to find the words. “He’s emotionally exhausted. Figured it’d be better to toss me into the driver’s seat for a bit.”

                “But is he okay?” he asked again.

                “I think so,” he said. “He seems better, overall. But he needs to sort through some things.”

                “And how are you doing?” he wondered.

                “Give me a few minutes,” he said. “Even though it’s his emotions, my body still feels it. Are you okay?”

                “Fine,” he said. “Probably need a bandage, but I’m good. It can wait though.”

* * *

                By the time they’d collected themselves and patched up Ed’s chest, they were surprised to find they were still the only ones awake. Shrugging it off, they decided to go through the supplies for breakfast.

                Ed would’ve loved to make pancakes or something. Comfort food would be very welcome right about now. Not to mention that pancakes are a better ‘thank you for last night it was amazing’ breakfast than their usual on the run fare.

                Eventually they heard footsteps in the hall. Looking up from breakfast they saw the rest of the team shuffle in.

                “Look who’s up,” Ed joked. “Enjoy sleeping in an actual bed for once?”

                “Something like that,” Darius yawned. “Had trouble sleeping.”

                “Yeah,” Heinkel added. “Apparently you were right about getting ‘haunted’.”

                “Haunted?” Ling wondered.

                “Yeah,” Darius said. “Had trouble sleeping because some ‘ghost’ spent half the night moaning.”

                The looks they were giving was making it very clear to Ed that they knew there was no ghost. He was also suddenly very aware that his shirt did little to hide the marks on his neck.

                As Ed let his head hit the table in an attempt to not spontaneously combust from the intensity of his blushing, he heard Greed come out to cackle. At least he was feeling better, the jackass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy. This was a trip to write.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's short, but I needed to put a breather chapter in, because next time they'll actually get to their destination~! Not that it's entirely filler. There is some setup... >:3c

                Traveling again. That wasn’t new to Ed. But god was he getting tired of it. Just a few more days and they’d be in Resembool. Hopefully Al would be there. Ed’s separation anxieties were starting to turn into just general anxieties at this point.

                When they did meet up again, he was going to let Al kick his ass for getting separated in the first place, stop this whole end-of-the-world fuckery, get Al’s body back, and then hug the kid until he told him to fuck off.

                He’d probably hug Winry too. Though, as much as he wanted to see her, he felt conflicted on that. It was still… odd. Being in love with two people. Ling reassuring him definitely helped, but he was still figuring that out.

                Honestly, that wasn’t even what was bothering him with it. It was more that even though Ling was open to the idea of ‘sharing’ him with her, Ed still had no idea how Winry would feel about that. Hell, he didn’t even know how she felt about him. It’s not like he’d been the best to her the last few years.

                He pushed that down for now. Nothing he could do until he saw her again. Instead, his attention was pulled back to Ling. Or Greed. Whichever was in charge at the moment.

                It was Ling currently. For some reason, he was staring intently at his hand. Ed was about to ask about it when he saw Greed take over. The transition was smooth, his body relaxing as it did.

                Greed stretched his arm, allowing the shield to appear. Then he took it away. Within the next second, Ling was back and staring again.

                “What are you two doing?” Ed asked.

                “Trying to figure out Greed’s shield thing,” Ling answered. “If I have it, I might as well use it, right?”

                “Makes sense,” Ed said. “Honestly it’s just transmuting the carbon in your body. Pretty useless on a normal Human since they’d, you know, die. But use it on automail with carbon fibers...”

                “Now there’s a cool trick,” Greed mused, bringing up the shield again. “At least I could teach you something!”

                “Sure,” Ling laughed. “Although, I can think of a few less practical uses for it.”

                As he said it, he reached over and dragged the still-covered nails down the back of Ed’s neck. He shuddered at the feeling, and then glared at the way Ling had smirked at the reaction. Rolling his eyes, he thought of something else.

                “You know,” Ed mused. “If you tried, you could probably learn some other tricks too.”

                “I mean probably,” Greed shrugged. “You have no idea what skills you randomly pick up just by being alive for so long.”

                “Of course there’s that,” he said. “But I meant the ‘tricks’ your siblings use.”

                “No offense,” Ling said. “But if you even try to make us recreate the Hell Pit-”

                “Oh fuck no,” Greed said.

                “I wasn’t thinking of that,” Ed sighed. “But the rest of their abilities seem to be due to the Philosopher's Stone either negating the energy needed, making it possible for your bodies to handle it, and just generally pushing their bodies past their limits.”

                “Huh,” he said. “Never really thought of it like that. Though I did always tell Lust that our ‘abilities’ should’ve been switched.”

                “Switched?” he wondered.

                “Yeah,” he said. “Do you know how many dick jokes I could’ve made out of ‘Ultimate Spear’?! Tons! Well, at least that one. But dear old dad doesn’t have a sense of humor so I got the Shield and Lust got the Spear.”

                Ed only sighed and shook his head. He was glad to see he was actually doing better now.

                As they walked, Ed leaned against him. The gesture seemed to surprised Greed, but soon enough he relaxed. He wasn’t sure if it was still Greed or if Ling had taken over and put an arm around him, but Ed didn’t think it mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw, can I just say I love each and every comment? Even if I don't respond directly.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally back to the small ass farm town!
> 
> ALSO! Remember that 'Several characters live AU' tag? Yeah, that comes into play about now!(Some of you have already guessed in the comments but if you need a hint look at the character tags added.)
> 
> Edit: Whoops! Technical difficulties with formatting when I first uploaded! Should be fixed soon!

                They had finally, finally, made it to Resembool. Ed had made the group wait until it was decently dark before making their way to the Rockbell house. As much as he trusted the townspeople to not question him, he did not want to deal with them.

                Dealing with Granny on the other hand, well, it went about as well as expected. She wasn’t too surprised at the cast of characters he’d dragged in with him, but she was absolutely not happy that he’d somehow managed to lose Al and Winry.

                Her anger did seem to relent seeing how worried he was, especially as his most assuring statement was ‘we got separated because I was the one in danger so they’re probably fine’.

                Currently, they were all sitting around the kitchen table. The only sound was from Den, as the dog was sniffing everyone. She had actually growled at Greed when he first showed up, which was very out of character. But Greed easily won her over with a few ear scratches.

                “So,” Granny began. “You going to introduce your crew here or sit there in silence.”

                “Right,” Ed said. “That one’s Darius, that one’s Heinkel. They’re Chimeras. Guess which is the lion and which is the gorilla. Then this one’s a package deal. Ling, a Xingese prince that’s sharing his body with a Homunculus named Greed. They switch control back and forth, but you’ll figure out which is which eventually.”

                “Glad to meet you all,” she said.

                “You’re just going to accept that?” Darius asked.

                “I expected at least a few questions from that introduction,” Heinkel said.

                As Granny laughed at that, Ed gave a weary smile. It was good to be back. He really should appreciate that more.

                “You’ve met this kid,” Granny said, still snickering. “Between him, his brother, and their dad, I don’t question things anymore. It’s like dealing with every small-town cryptid rolled into a socially awkward nerd that leaves gold hair everywhere.”

                “Most towns ask questions,” Ed shrugged. “Yet we’ve never had someone ask ‘hey, how is a small child able to operate a large suit of armor?’. I mean, they never asked about two limbs disappearing either, but that’d just be rude, right?”

                “Wow,” Ling laughed. “Sounds like there’s plenty of stories with that one.”

                “No,” Darius said. “If you’re going to start telling any stories that explain why any of that doesn’t need an explanation, then I need to be drunk.”

                “What happened to ‘don’t get the teens drunk’?” Greed asked.

                “You’re still banned,” Heinkel said. “You count as one of the ‘weird explanations’.

                “Hope you two can handle your alchohol,” Granny said. “Last decent competition I had was the original ‘cryptid’. And even Blondie couldn’t win a round against me.”

                “What the everloving fu-” Greed began.

                “Don’t swear in front of the kid,” Ling cut him off.

                “Kid?” Ed asked.

                “You’re the youngest one in the room,” Heinkel pointed out.

                “Yeah, in the room,” Ling answered. “But there’s the kid eavesdropping from the other side of the door.”

                Most of the group looked to him before turning a questioning gaze to Ed. Ed, however, looked over to Granny with a much less surprised expression. Then he got up and opened the kitchen door.

                To anyone who was not used to the strangeness of the family by now, she looked like a large dog wearing pajamas. But Ed only gave an exasperated expression to the small Chimera grinning sheepishly up at him.

                “You’re supposed to be asleep,” Ed said.

                “I was,” Nina answered. “But between Den barking and you talking, did you really think I’d stay asleep?”

                Ed rolled his eyes. As much as he was trying to play the responsible one, he was glad to see her. He gave up and went back to the table, her following behind and taking the last empty seat.

                To their credit, Darius and Heinkel’s expressions looked less confused and more like they were accepting their fate.

                “So,” Heinkel sighed. “When were you going to mention what I’m assuming is a pint-sized Chimera?”

                “I thought I mentioned her?” Ed responded.

                “Hi!” Nina said.

                “Don’t suppose there’s an explanation that won’t confuse us?” Darius asked.

                “Probably,” Greed said, reaching over and scratching Nina’s ears. “Though such adorableness can’t be explained.”

                “Don’t do that,” Ed said, smacking his hands away. “She’s a person, not a dog.”

                “Actually, she’s both,” he replied.

                “He’s got a point,” Nina said.

                “Anyway,” Ling said. “You were explaining things again? All the Chimeras I know of have been government-made, but I don’t think even those guys would use a kid.”

                “Yeah, that’s a thing” Ed sighed. “I think she doesn’t need much explanation. You remember what I said about ‘qualifications to join the team’, right? Guess she still counts as government-made if her dad was part of the government.”

                “That’s fu- messed up,” Darius said.

                “Are we really censoring the swears now?” Greed sighed.

                “There’s a child,” Heinkel defended. “She’s, what, five?”

                “Six,” Ed corrected.

                “Uh, seven, actually,” Nina said. “My birthday was a few weeks ago.”

                “Why didn’t you mention that?” Granny asked.

                Nina sighed, laying her head on the table. Although she wasn’t meeting their faces, she had an expression like, well, like a kicked puppy.

                “I was hoping everyone would come back soon,” Nina said.

                And now everyone was giving Ed an accusing glare. Which, yeah. He did feel guilty about that. He also felt worried as hell, since now he had no idea where Al and Winry could be.

                While Ed tried to think of a way to be comforting, Greed went back to the ear scratches. As much as he still thought it was a bit too much toward ‘treating her like a dog’, she did smile and lean into the gesture. He tentatively tried it on the other ear, which got the same reaction.

                “Well, I’m here now,” Ed said. “And I’m sure Al and Winry will come back soon.”

                “Look on the bright side!” Greed said. “Since you waited until I was here to mention your birthday, you get me making you a great birthday cake!”

                “You can make a birthday cake?” Heinkel raised an eyebrow. “You seem more like the ‘somehow manages to set cereal on fire’ type.”

                “If you set my kitchen on fire...” Granny threatened.

                “Don’t worry!” Greed assured very quickly. “I haven’t set a kitchen on fire since 1794! And that was intentional! Worst that’ll happen is that it won’t look pretty since I’m a bit rusty at decorating. But, hey, could always have Goldilocks over here fix it up a bit with some alchemy.”

                “No I can’t,” Ed replied.

                “Actually, couldn’t you?” Nina asked. “Cooking is kinda similar to Alchemy. Get all the ingredients together and turn them into something else.”

                “Baking is science for hungry people,” Ling agreed. “Also, I’ve seen you shave with Alchemy. I don’t doubt you could make a cake.”

                “Okay, technically you can,” Ed said. “But it’s not fun.”

                “It’s ‘not fun’?” Darius asked.

                “What does that have to do with anything?” Nina asked.

                “Well, it’s not fun,” Ed explained. “Yeah, I could make a cake real quick with Alchemy, but would you rather do that or actually put in the work to make a cake with someone?”

                Half of the group was looking at him like he was crazy. The other half seemed somewhat thoughtful on the subject. Everyone seemed to relent that he had a point.

                Nina yawned, causing the rest of the room to follow suit. Ed stretched as it hit him.

                “Well,” Granny sighed. “For now, since I’m apparently playing host, we should figure out sleeping arrangements. Guess I really need to stop putting off converting the old room into a guest bedroom.”

                “You don’t have to do that!” Ed said a bit hastily. “I mean, hey, we’ve spent plenty of time in tents on the ground! Even the couch feels like a hotel by now!”

                “Speak for yourself,” Heinkel said. “I’d like to sleep in a bed and not be disturbed by ‘ghosts’ half the night.”

                “Ghosts?” Nina asked somewhat excitedly. “Did you stay in a haunted house? Was it just weird noises or a full on spirit?”

                “He was speaking metaphorically!” Darius answered quickly.

                While Greed snickered, Ed avoided eye contact with anyone.

                “Anyway,” Granny said, giving them a look. “As much as I’d love to keep the room as it is, everything’s been just sitting there for years now. Besides, figure’d you would take the same sleeping arrangement as last time.”

                “Uh, well, that is...” Ed began.

                Okay, so that was a decent idea in theory. Since Nina had taken over the usual guest bedroom, and the last time Ed was here was the same time a certain jackass had taken the couch, Granny had opted to shove him in Winry’s room.

                It hadn’t been that bad. Slightly awkward, but mostly because he was made aware of it when he’d been given the rule of ‘don’t go through her stuff’. Not that there was much to go through, as a lot of Winry’s stuff had made it to Rush Valley with her.

                But his problem right now was the situation with Ling. Not to mention the ‘package deal’ of Greed. He’d gotten used to cuddling up to him at night. Which was strange in it’s own right, as he wasn’t used to cuddling up to anyone like that.

                While he tried to figure out how to explain all of that, he felt Ling take his hand. He glanced over to find a soft and comforting smile. And fuck did that still make him feel all warm and fluttery.

                “So,” Granny said. “Disturbed by ‘ghosts’, huh?”

                “Something like that,” Ed admitted, very redfaced.

                Great. Not only was he getting snickering from the usual perpetrators, but now Granny was giving him that amused look. And Nina’s expression looked a bit too mischievous to be completely unaware of what the joke was.

                “Fine,” Granny said before leveling a glare at Ling. “Same rules for him apply to you. Both parts of the ‘package deal’. ”

                “Don’t worry!” Greed said, backing up a bit. “No rule breaking here! It’ll be fine!”

                That was… odd. Greed looked actually scared. While Ed knew that Granny could be intimidating when she wants to be, he didn’t get why Greed of all people would be afraid of her.

                Before he could contemplate that further, someone else started a chain-reaction of yawns.

                “So, what now?” Nina asked as she yawned.

                “For right now, you need to go back to bed,” Ed said.

                “You woke me up in the first place,” she pouted.

                “Tell you what,” he grinned. “As a late birthday present, I’ll let you in on a fun fact. Usually the rules around swearing is that you’re only allowed to swear after a certain age. However, you can also qualify by having a decent amount of emotional trauma.”

                “What he’s saying is that you’re allowed to swear,” Granny said.

                Nina nodded, in that serious way that kids do when they’re given responsibility. She mused over the options, thinking of how to respond.

                “FUCK!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think children swearing is my favorite trope. Also, I knew that Greed meeting Nina would be like that B99 scene. "I've known Nina for all of ten seconds, but if anything happens to her I will kill everyone in this room and then myself". 
> 
> A few notes on Nina in this AU, because while she will be getting her own fic, it's not posted yet:
> 
> Ed and Al sneaked her out after the whole Chimera incident and brought her to Resembool where she'd be safe, and she's just been hanging out there ever since. A certain character did help fix her up a little, so she functions a bit better and sounds like herself again, but she's still more dog-like in appearance.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! We're having fun here.

                Ed stretched his arms as he walked downstairs. Well, he attempted to. Last thing he did the night before was let Granny take a look at his Automail. She couldn’t do much fine-tuning on the designs, but she could at least fix it up a little.

                Unfortunately, it did leave him ‘disarmed’, and dealing with the odd feeling of the spare leg. Doing things one-handed was tricky, but not impossible. He hadn’t even bothered trying to put his hair up one-handed, so it was still hanging around his shoulders.

                As he made his way to the kitchen, he found Ling already there. The way he was focusing on the wall of pictures made Ed hesitant to sneak up on him. But he didn’t flinch when Ed wrapped his arm around him and pressed his face into his back.

                “Morning,” Ling said.

                “Morning,” Ed yawned. “See you found the wall of pictures.”

                “I couldn’t help but notice this one,” he said, tapping a photo. “It looks like a small version of you.”

                “Well,” Greed cut in. “A ‘smaller’ version of you.”

                “Fuck off,” Ed rolled his eyes. “But you’re right about it being a picture of me.”

                “You were adorable,” Ling said. “So if that’s you, then the girl is Winry, which makes the other one Al.”

                “Yep,” he said. “That’s what he looked like before the armor.”

                Ed looked over the pictures, settling on one. He moved so that they were reversed, Ling hugging him from behind and resting his head on his shoulder. Though his hand shook for a moment, he reached out and tapped a picture.

                “This one,” Ed began. “This is my mom.”

                As his hand dropped, he felt Ling hold him closer. Unsure of what else to say, Ed just leaned into that.

                “She’s beautiful,” Ling said.

                “Yeah,” Ed nodded. “She was.”

                “Sorry,” he sighed. “I- I’m not entirely sure what to say here. Everything I can think of sounds dumb. Or something I could get punched for.”

                “Get punched for?” he laughed. “Let me guess, something about how I don’t look much like her?”

                “Well…,” he began. “I mean, usually when you see someone’s family you’re supposed to say ‘oh I see the resemblance’, but...”

                “I know,” he said. “Al looks more like her. I take more after the other side of the family.”

                “That’s an understatement,” Greed said. “Even if your coloration didn’t immediately give it away, the resemblance really drives the point home.”

                As he said it, he made his point by turning Ed to look at him and moving his hair back, leaving only a few gold strands hanging in his face.

                Ed only glared and swatted his hand away. That reminded him that there was something he had yet to ask about. It was obvious that Hohenheim had some connection to all of this. Hell, there was a Homunculus that looked exactly like him. And Ed still had no idea why.

                There were still puzzle pieces missing, and he was sure he could just ask Greed to fill him in. The curiosity was killing him, and much like the cat he knew satisfaction would fix that.

                Yet… he couldn’t bring himself to. There were so many emotions caught up in that. And while he could simplify it down to anger or hatred, it was far more complicated. He knew if he wanted any answers, all those emotions would come to the forefront.

                It was a lot to unpack, but he’d rather just throw away the entire suitcase. Ed instead turned his glare to the pictures. However, the photo he intended to glare at was missing.

                Emotions shifting to outright confusion, he looked over the wall again, wondering if it had been moved. He even started lifting other photos, trying to find where it went.

                “What are you looking for?”

                Ed jumped, having been too caught up in what he was doing to notice that Granny had walked in. She was already starting on breakfast.

                “Where’s that picture?” Ed asked. “The… the one of the whole family?”

                “Hohenheim took it when he left,” Granny answered. “Didn’t think it’d be a problem. I know we have another copy in the basement. Just haven’t gotten around to digging it up.”

                “Why the hell would he do that?” he demanded.

                She didn’t answer him, only giving him a look before going back to setting up breakfast.

                That didn’t help. Ed was trying to figure it out. Usually he loved puzzles to solve, but this one only confused him. And not in a good way. Too many conflicting emotions and memories. It only served to make him angry, make him want to scream. But he was trying not to do that anymore.

                “I’m going back to bed,” Ed said.

                He quickly made his way out of the room, not paying attention to the looks he was getting. Of course, he only made it up two stairs before he felt Ling grab his wrist.

                “Hey are you okay?” Ling asked.

                “I’m fine,” Ed answered, resisting the urge to tug away.

                “I told you I’m banning that phrase,” he said.

                Staying quiet until he trusted himself to speak, Ed tried to calm down a little. He focused on the fact that it took two steps up for him to be taller than Ling. It still annoyed him, but it was petty annoyance. Easier to handle.

                “It’s...” Ed tried to say. “It’s a lot. I know you want me to talk things out, but… this subject has a lot to it. I’m not ready to deal with that. Not yet.”

                “That’s okay,” Ling said. “I get that. Just please, tell me when something’s wrong.”

                Ed nodded, stepping down and dropping his face into Ling’s chest. It took a moment to get calm enough again.

                “I’m trying,” Ed said.

                “I know,” Ling said, tilting Ed’s face up. “You’re getting better at it, but I know it’ll still take some time.”

                “Right,” he sighed. “I’m still going back to bed for a while. I just… I just need to not right now. “

                “Do you want me to come back up with you?” he asked.

                “Maybe,” he said. “Just- just to sleep. Not for-”

                “I get it,” he said. “And I wasn’t talking about that. I meant just going back to bed too. Or even just laying there. It’s nice.”

                This time, when Ed buried his face in Ling’s chest it was more out of embarrassment out of how cheesy that was. The whole thing helped though. Talking or not talking. Being able to do either.

                He heard noise and movement behind him. Apparently everyone else was waking up. Despite the lack of energy still hitting him, he did step back downstairs to clear the path.

                “Morning,” Nina greeted, with the kind of chipper enthusiasm only a child could muster this early.

                “Something like that,” Ed yawned. “Can we even say ‘good morning’ if we’re going back to bed?”

                “You’re asking me?” Ling laughed. “I might be good at it, but I feel like I should remind you that Amestrian is not my first language. I still don’t entirely understand ‘y’all’d’ve’.”

                Ed rolled his eyes at that.

                “Can you do that though?” Nina asked. “Just get up and decide to go back to bed?”

                “Occasionally,” Ed said. “Since we don’t have anything important to do this morning, it’s fine.”

                “But Greed has something to do,” she said. “He said he’d make a cake.”

                “He’ll do it this afternoon,” he said. “It’s not like we’re having cake for breakfast.”

                “But if he starts now, cake will be ready by lunch,” she countered.

                “Maybe,” he said. “But Greed is his own person and is choosing to do something nice, so he does it on his own time.”

                “He’s got a point,” Greed said. “Sorry kiddo. Ling wants to go back to sleep. And that outweighs my need to make a cake. For now at least.”

                “You two being attached is inconvenient,” Nina pouted. “Couldn’t you figure out a way to separate?”

                Greed opened his mouth to respond, but stopped short. Tilting his head in thought, he stared at Ed.

                “Don’t tell me you actually know a way to separate you two,” Ed said.

                “Not exactly,” Greed said. “But I know that you might.”

                “If I knew how I would’ve done it by now,” he said.

                “Okay, but you’re already half-way there,” he said. “You already stuck your brother in a suit of armor. You anchor Ling’s Soul to his body while anchoring mine to another. Simple. I think.”

                “And I think we’ve already gone over why that’s a bad idea,” he said.

                While Ed had tried not to react to that, the retort came out as more of of a growl. Ling switched back in, gently holding him tighter. It was something so small, but it helped pull him back.

                “Besides,” Ed said. “Even if we could make a Human body that functions like a proper body, it won’t work. It’s only temporary. Eventually the soul will be rejected. Even… even Al isn’t safe from that. At some point that will wear off and he’ll be forced out of the armor.”

                “You’re forgetting something again,” Greed said. “I’m a Homunculous.”

                “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked.

                “My Soul works a little differently,” he said. “Unlike Humans, I don’t have a specific body of my own. Obviously I need some sort of container, but anything really works and I won’t be ‘rejected’.”

                “Container?” Nina wondered. “So, we could just put you in a jar of jelly and you’d be fine?”

                While Ed couldn’t see his expression change at that, he did feel it. Greed had yet to remove his arm from when Ling had hugged him, and Ed was now feeling carbon-tipped claws digging into his side. He wasn’t sure why that comment set him off, but he knew it was probably best to distract.

                “Hey, Nina,” Ed began, trying not to let her notice. “I know I said no cake for breakfast, but I think Granny might be working on pancakes.”

                “Oh! Really?” Nina replied.

                As soon as she left for the kitchen, Ed pried Greed’s hand off of him. He seemed to be calming down, his hand already returning to flesh. Still, Ed decided to keep a hold of him.

                “Are you okay?” Ed whispered.

                “Yeah,” Greed swallowed. “I just… I don’t like the idea of being trapped in things like that.”

                “That’s fair,” he said. “Bet you two want to go take that nap now.”

                “I think that goes without saying,” Ling said.

                Ed dragged him back upstairs, thankfully not running into anyone else on the way. The bed itself was still warm, as they hadn’t been up long.

                He laid down and pulled Ling on top of him. Maybe he’d move later, but for now he liked the weight of someone laying on him.

                Despite settling down to try and sleep again, his thoughts were still going down different tangents. Possibilities, theoreticals, all sorts of things that could maybe work.

                “You’re thinking about something,” Ling said.

                “A little bit,” Ed admitted. “I mean, getting you two separated would be a bit more convenient.”

                “And here I thought you were getting used to me,” Greed said.

                “As ‘used to you’ as I am, I would like to not be interrupted sometimes,” he replied. “Besides, I’m sure we drive you nuts sometimes too. Not to mention you’d love to be free from our ‘stupid fluttery emotions’ and all that.”

                “Oh, yeah, you’re right,” he said. “In that case, the sooner you get on that the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey, more of the Dad Issues™. This time with very complicated fuckery and not asking questions he should ask.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warnings this time, but it does get a little sad and angsty!

                Ed quietly pulled on his boots. He didn’t bother with the laces, since it was hard enough to do that one handed when he had light and he didn’t have the energy to try in the dark. He settled for pulling them tight and tucking them in.

                He froze when he saw Ling roll over, hoping he’d just go back to sleep. Of course he wasn’t that lucky because he was sitting up now.

                “Where are you going?” Ling asked.

                “Nowhere,” Ed said. “Go back to sleep.”

                That didn’t work, as Ling was now up and next to him.

                “Where are you going?” Ling asked again.

                “I…” Ed hesitated. “Usually when I come back here, the first thing I do is visit my mom’s grave. But I haven’t yet. Figured night would be a better time to go. Less people to see me.”

                “Oh,” he said. “That’s… okay.”

                “Where did you think I’d go?” he wondered.

                “I… I thought you might leave,” he said. “Do the dumb hero thing of leaving us behind and ‘out of danger’ to go face this yourself.”

                The thought had crossed his mind. Only reason he hadn’t, besides the fact that he was still disarmed and using the spare leg, was knowing that Ling and Greed would’ve chased him down and yelled at him.

                It must’ve shown in his silence, because Ling was holding his hand tighter now.

                “Do you want me to go with you?” Ling asked.

                “I’m not gonna run off,” Ed huffed.

                “I know,” he said. “But that’s not why I asked.”

                After a moment, Ed nodded. Ling kissed his cheek before grabbing his own shoes.

                The pair did their best to stay quiet, making their way past the other bedrooms and down the stairs with little sound.

                He shivered when he stepped outside. It wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been up north, but it wasn’t quite Spring yet. Probably wouldn’t warm up for another month at least.

                As he led the way, he felt Ling tap his side. Ed looked over, but instead of saying anything he did it again.

                “What are you doing?” Ed wondered.

                “I’m was- being an idiot,” Ling said. “I was trying to hold your hand but I forgot...”

                “Forgot I’m a little ‘disarmed’ at the moment?” he replied.

                “Yeah, that,” he said.

                Ed snickered at that. He then ducked under Ling’s arm, putting it around his shoulders. It was better like this. Warmer at least.

                “Is it bad that I forget it sometimes?” Ling asked. “Obviously I know you lost your arm and leg, and I know Automail isn’t a perfect replacement. But I don’t think it really hit me until I saw you take your arm off.”

                “You’ve seen me without it before,” Ed said. “Remember? I had to take it off when you sent Lan Fan to kick my ass?”

                “That’s a little hard to forget,” he said. “Especially because you later smacked me with it.”

                “Oh, right,” he said. “Sorry about that and all. I mean-”

                “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Back then I was just some stranger starting a fight with you and breaking into your hotel room.”

                “Yeah, well,” he sighed. “I’m not doing that anymore. If you want a sparring session that’s one thing but...”

                He trailed off as Ling held him tighter. He tried to think of something to change the conversation, but it seemed like Ling thought of something first.

                “Hey, you grew up here, right?” Ling wondered.

                “Yeah,” Ed said. “Don’t worry, we’re not going to get lost.”

                “I know,” he said. “But since you grew up here, didn’t you have your own place?”

                “We did,” he said. “We burned it down.”

                “Your wording sounded like it was intentional,” he frowned. “Why would you do that?”

                Ed tried not to glare as he remembered the last time someone asked him that. They were here in the graveyard back then, too. And as much as Ed would never admit that jackass was ‘right’ about anything, the fucker did have some of a point.

                “There were a lot of reasons,” Ed said. “We said it was to show our resolve. Proof that we were so confident that we’d figure this out, get Al back to normal. We weren’t coming back, so we didn’t need anything to come back to.”

                He stopped walking. Ling stopped with him, pressing a kiss against his cheek as a sign of reassurance.

                “I was scared,” Ed swallowed. “If I had something to come back to, I might run away. I might give up.”

                “I can understand that,” Ling said.

                “I know,” he sighed. “You’re better at that than I am.”

                “You haven’t given up yet,” he replied.

                “No, but I didn’t do well with ‘not having something to come back to,” he said. “I still came back to see Winry and Granny. Not as often as anyone would like, but I did. Hell, we didn’t even manage to burn everything.”

                “What do you mean?” he asked.

                “It wasn’t an impulsive thing,” he said. “Everyone tried to talk me out of it. I know Granny and Winry packed up a bunch of stuff and put it in their basement. Al grabbed some stuff too. He knew how to convince me, saying things like ‘we should keep dad’s journals since they might have some useful research’. And, you know, some stuff might’ve accidentally fallen in the boxes I packed.”

                “’Accidentally’,” he laughed. “Still though, I think if the last few months have taught me anything, I think that’s a good thing. Staying attached like that, even if it’s difficult.”

                “I’m glad for that too,” he said.

                They stayed quiet as they walked through the graveyard. Not that they didn’t want to talk more. Just that a walk through tombstones was one of those places where silence had it’s own presence. Like libraries or empty churches.

                This was a path Ed knew far too well. He didn’t even need to look at the rows of tombstones. Despite the fact that it was probably two in the morning, there was enough moonlight to read the name engraved in the stone.

                Ed sat in the grass. It felt so familiar. There’d been a few times back then, when he was younger, where he would sneak out at night like this. If he couldn’t sleep or if he had a nightmare, if Al wasn’t up then sometimes he’d come here.

                “I’m never sure what to do at graveyards,” Ling said, sitting beside him. “Not that I really go to graveyards often.”

                “I still don’t always know what you’re supposed to do,” Ed admitted. “Sometimes I’d just sit here and think. Sometimes Al and I would talk to her, as if she were here. Tell her what she missed. Tell her how much fun we’d have once we brought her back.”

                “I can imagine,” he said. “Do you think… Do you think she would’ve liked me? You know, in some alternate universe where she was still around and you and I still met.”

                “I think she would,” he said. “I know I might get… like I am. But she loved everyone. It’s hard to imagine her hating anyone. She probably would’ve loved to meet you, and then ask too many personal questions to lovingly tease me about.”

                “Of course,” he laughed. “I think that’s what moms are supposed to do.”

                Ed sighed, curling up more. By now he was practically laying on Ling. He felt Ling’s hand in his hair, gently brushing it away from his face.

                “What’s wrong?” Ling asked.

                “I just-” Ed swallowed. “That whole thing. About ‘what moms are supposed to do’. I’m scared to think about how much I really- how much I really remember. I mean, I was five! My memories of back then are confusing! Sometimes it’s hard to know what was… what was really her and what was just-just some fantasy about what it’d be like to have her back.”

                “I… honestly don’t know how to respond,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

                “Don’t be,” he said. “It’s not your fault.”

                “I know,” he said. “But… I think that even if you were just wanting the idea of a mother, that’s still okay. You were a kid. That’s normal.”

                “Maybe,” he huffed. “Most kids don’t try to bring their mom back through Alchemy.”

                “That you know of,” he said. “I bet anyone with a basic knowledge of Alchemy would think about doing the same.”

                “Probably,” he said. “I was just the idiot who was arrogant enough to try.”

                “It wasn’t arrogance,” Greed popped in.

                Ed wasn’t sure if being surprised by Greed still being here meant he was getting used to the situation or not. Either way, he moved back a bit to look up at him.

                “I’d listen to him,” Ling said with a grin. “He seems like an expert on the Sins.”

                “Yeah, sure,” Ed rolled his eyes.

                “It’s true,” Greed said. “And I can tell you that this wasn’t about arrogance.”

                “I think ‘trespassing in God’s domain’ is the most arrogant thing one can do,” he said.

                “Maybe the act itself is,” he said. “But that’s not why you did it. I think any of the other ‘sins’ could be a more accurate reason.”

                “I really hope not,” Ling said. “I don’t think ‘Gluttony’ works here. Much less ‘Lust’.”

                “Ugh,” Ed said. “Look, if you even start down that path I swear-”

                “Don’t worry your pretty little head,” Greed laughed. “I don’t mean like that.”

                “Then what do you mean?” he asked.

                “There are… other interpretations of some sins,” he said. “Obviously my own sin of Avarice is ‘to want everything’. ‘Lust’, however, is more specific. It’s selfish wants. Yes, sex is probably one of the most selfish things to want. But so is love, and the desire to bring someone back.”

                “Oh,” he said. “And the rest?”

                “’Gluttony’ is another alternate interpretation,” he said. “You wanted more than you had. ‘Envy’ is more simple, being jealous of those who still had their mother. ‘Wrath’ is easy. You were angry that she was taken from you too soon. And as for ‘Sloth’, you never really move on, did you?”

                No, he didn’t. Spending several years planning to resurrect her really screams ‘denial stage’. And, if he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he really had started to get past that until recently, when he learned that it truly was impossible to bring anyone back.

                “I agree with him,” Ling said. “You weren’t arrogant. You were a kid, scared and alone and desperate. And maybe I’m the arrogant one for saying that you didn’t deserve the punishment you got.”

                Ed wasn’t sure how to feel about that. It made him want to believe it, to get angry about how unfair that was. Yet he still didn’t quite feel like he could. There was still too much guilt, too much telling him that while others didn’t deserve that, he did. Still, it was comforting to hear.

                “Thanks,” Ed said. “Both of you.”

                “You’re welcome,” Ling said.

                “That’s what we’re here for,” Greed said. “Calling out your self-deprecating guilt bullshit.”

                Ed almost laughed at that. He wasn’t sure whose hand he was technically holding, but he still held it tighter.

                “Hey, Greed,” Ed said. “Can I ask you something? Something probably a bit too personal?”

                “Only if I can do the same,” Greed said.

                As much as Ed didn’t want to be more open and honest right now, he swallowed that down.

                “Back at the cabin,” Ed began. “You mentioned a name. Felix, I think.”

                “Must’ve been real out of it if I mentioned him,” Greed said. “Can’t even remember saying it.”

                “Figured you wouldn’t,” he said. “But who was he?”

                “Someone I...” he trailed off. “Someone I knew once.”

                “A friend?” he guessed.

                “Something like that,” he said. “He was… For the first half of my life, I was just doing exactly as Father wanted. Then I met Felix. He made me realize how fucked my family was. He was a lot like you, you know. Stubborn. Liked to think of me as Human, even though I wasn’t.”

                Ed wanted to ask more, but he felt lucky to get even that. He waited for Greed to ask his question, but he didn’t look like he wanted to talk. Mostly he just leaned down, now laying against him.

                He couldn’t see Greed’s face. Probably on purpose. Ed waited, still holding his hand.

                “How did you handle it?” Greed wondered. “Knowing she was going to die?”

                “I… don’t know,” Ed answered. “I don’t think I really did. I mean, does anyone handle death well?”

                “I don’t mean just death,” he said. “I’ve seen plenty of that. I come to terms with that when I decide to let Humans stay around. Even if I try to stop it, I still know it’s coming eventually.”

                “What do you mean then?” he asked.

                “Death like your mother,” he said. “Someone you’ve known forever, who you thought would always be there. You can’t imagine them ever dying. And then you realize death is staring them right in the face, and there’s nothing you can do.”

                “I…” he sighed. “I don’t know that either. That happened so fast. One day she was fine. Then she got sick, and we still thought she’d get better. But she didn’t, and she was gone.”

                He could feel as Greed’s hand turned cold. He wasn’t shaking or holding tighter, which was a good sign. Still, Ed readjusted, pulling them closer together.

                “I already lost my sister,” Greed whispered. “I don’t want to lose the rest of them.”

                “I’m sorry,” Ed said.

                “Don’t be,” he said. “I know they’re terrible.”

                “You changed,” he said. “Maybe they’ll figure something out.”

                “Maybe,” he sighed. “If I had more time, maybe I could’ve talked some sense into them. Should’ve tried harder in the first place. Now they don’t have a chance.”

                Ed scooted back a little, tilting Greed’s head up to face him. He resisted a little, but ultimately met his gaze.

                “I don’t know what’ll happen,” Ed said. “But you should listen to yourself sometimes. ‘There’s no such thing as ‘no such thing’’, remember? So do what you do best, and be a bit ‘greedy’.”

                “You’re too optimistic, Goldilocks,” Greed said, almost cracking a smile.

                “Maybe I am,” he said. “I can’t promise anything, but if it comes down to it, I’ll do what I can.”

                “Worry more about yourself,” he said. “Wouldn’t want you dying on me either.”

                “Why?” he wondered innocently. “You actually getting attached to me now?”

                “You really want me to call you a friend, don’t you?” he asked.

                “Even if you don’t say it, you’re my friend,” he said. “So stop being fucking stubborn.”

                “Like you’re one to talk,” he retorted.

                “He has a point,” Ling laughed.

                “Shut up,” Ed sighed.

                “We should probably head back to the house,” Greed said. “I don’t know about you, but I’d like to get back into a warm bed, since I didn’t agree to come out here into the cold in the first damn place.”

                Greed stood up, offering a hand. Ed took it, pulling himself up. It took a moment for him to get his balance. Giving one more sad smile to the gravestone, they made their way out.

                “You know,” Ed said. “She would’ve liked to meet you too.”

                “I’m sure she would’ve,” Greed said, putting an arm around Ed’s shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to work more on the next chapter before I posted this, but my laptop is having some problems and idk if it'll effect my fics. It's kinda hard to work on a fic when the threat of my laptop crashing and losing progress is so there, though that assumes it won't die completely on me. And even when I do write I end up working on the more low-stakes fics where I don't care about losing as much progress. 
> 
> Anyway, this might take a little longer to update because if that.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Open the door, boys on the floor, everybody do the dinosaur. (I've been waiting months to make that joke.)

                “Are you even paying attention?” Ed asked.

                “Yeah,” Ling nodded uncertainly. “I think I get it.”

                “Honestly, I think I understand better than he does,” Greed said. “And that’s saying something.”

                “Yeah, it really is,” Ed huffed.

                “Sorry,” Ling sighed. “You know I don’t know much about Alchemy in the first place, and this seems high-level.”

                Ed set the notebook down on the desk. After he’d gotten the idea to separate the pair, he’d been spending plenty of time putting together notes on how.

                Not every moment, of course. Between Ling insisting he take a break, Greed pestering him into taking a break, and everyone else wanting his attention for something or other, he really only had late nights. Snuggling against Ling while scribbling in a notebook.

                Right now though, they were being left alone. Heinkel and Darius had offered to distract Nina for the afternoon, since Ed was ‘obviously frustrated’. Which, he kinda was. But not in the way they were implying with their teasing.

                And Granny had gone into town for the annual Spring Festival. Considering the rest of them were supposed to be hiding and really shouldn’t show up in town, they convinced her to go and enjoy it for all of them. Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t be back until at least sundown.

                “This is important,” Ed said.

                "Why?” Ling asked. “If you’re doing the transmutation, why do I need to know how it works?”

                “Just in case,” he said. “I mean, if anything happens to me-”

                “Nothing’s going to happen to you,” he said, taking Ed’s hand.

                “But if something does,” he said. “Or even if I’m not there at the moment, but you think separating could help, you need to know.”

                “I think, between both of us, we can figure it out,” he said.

                Ed nodded, shoving the notebook away for now and stretching his arms. It was nice to have his Automail back, finally.

                “We should take a break,” Ed said, gathering the papers up a bit.

                “If you want,” Ling agreed, putting his arms around him. “I do have a question though. If Greed and I are separated, do you think the changes he made to my body would go away?”

                “Not sure,” he said. “I don’t think they would unless I work that into the transmutation. I could, if you wanted me to.”

                “If you asked a while ago I’d say yes,” he said. “But I think I’ve grown to like some of the changes.”

                As he said that, Ed felt him grinning against his neck, sharp teeth pressing against his skin. Damn it. Why did he have to like that?

                Ed leaned back to kiss him properly. He only managed that for a moment before he leaned too far and slipped off the chair.

                While he muttered a swear, attempting to sit up, Ling gently pushed him back down. Ed let him do it, going back to the kiss instead. Perhaps that earlier point of being ‘frustrated’ had been a bit true, because Ed was quickly growing impatient of just this.

                He slid his hand between them, making his intentions very clear, grinning when he heard Ling gasp. It absolutely had the effect he wanted, as Ling moved back to pull off Ed’s shirt. Once they resumed, Ed worked on the buttons of Ling’s shirt.

                There were footsteps heading up the stairs. Ed debated about stopping, but figured whoever would probably walk on by. Okay, maybe he just really didn’t want to stop. But he did make an effort to stifle any noise he made. An effort that Ling was not helping in.

                When the door opened, Ed pulled away. He was expecting to make an excuse or apology or maybe just ask if they could come back later.

                However, he didn’t expect the person in the doorway to be Winry.

                “What the FUCK?!”

                Oh boy. The next few seconds were a whirlwind where Ed wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Winry’s scream had gotten the attention of everyone else in the house, including two new guys who apparently had come with her. There was a lot more screaming. And barking. And a roar.

                Eventually, Winry kicked everyone else out. At some point, Ling had decided to sneak out in the commotion as well. Not that he really blamed him, as Ed was now met with a very upset Winry glaring at him.

                “Uh, hi?” Ed said lamely.

                “What the fuck,” Winry huffed at him. “I was worried about you. I haven’t heard from you in forever! We didn’t even know if you were alive! And then you just fucking show up here with-!”

                She paused, processing what she was about to say. Then, she opened the door and yelled down the hall.

                “Ling get your ass in here so I can yell at you too!” Winry shouted.

                “Sorry!” Greed answered back. “Ling’s a little unavailable at the moment! Would you like to leave a message?”

                “It’s the same ass so get the hell up here!” Ed shouted down.

                After a moment, Greed made his way back up and into the room. Ed was a little worried that the door was being closed again. However, Winry’s rage was somewhat calmed by a confusion over Greed.

                “You look... different,” Winry said.

                “Oh, right,” Ed said. “We never told you about that. Basically Ling got his ass possessed.”

                “Possessed?” she repeated.

                “It happens,” Ling shrugged.

                “Long story,” Ed said. “But sometimes it’ll be Ling talking, sometimes it’s Greed. You can figure out which is which.”

                “Obviously, I’m the one who’s less of an idiot,” Greed said.

                “That’s debatable,” Ling huffed.

                “Very debatable,” Ed agreed.

                Greed glared at him for a moment. Then he moved forward and took Winry’s hand.

                “You know,” Greed mused, kissing her hand. “Ed’s mentioned you a few times. However, he failed to mention just how lovely you are.”

                “What the hell are you doing?” Ed growled, pulling him back.

                Greed just gave him an unimpressed stare. Right. Of course. Mister ‘I want everything’. Jackass.

                “So,” Winry began. “How much was I interrupting when I walked in?”

                Ed and Ling both tried to stammer out an explanation. Neither could really figure out how to form words at the moment. Or where to even start explaining.

                “Come on,” Winry laughed, giving Ed a teasing grin. “After all, I wouldn’t want to have interrupted your first time...”

                “You’re a little late for that,” Ed muttered.

                He couldn’t meet her face as that sank in. At least Ling had a better pokerface than he did. Because right now Ed was pretty sure he was on fire.

                “I… was kidding,” Winry said.

                “What did you think was happening?” Ed wondered, giving up and hiding his face in his hands.

                “Honestly?” she sighed. “Knowing your luck, I figured you happened to trip and land in a suggestive position, and I’d get a panicked ‘this isn’t what it looks like!’ reaction out of you.”

                “You know,” Ling said. “Tripping into a suggestive position at the worst time sounds exactly like something that’d happen to you.”

                “Good to know you two know me that well,” Ed said. “But yeah it was- it was exactly what it looked like.”

                This time he watched her expression. She seemed almost sad to hear that.

                “Oh,” Winry said. “I didn’t even know you were, well, gay.”

                “Bisexual, actually,” Ed corrected. “I still- I mean- I like girls too.”

                “That’s good,” she said. “I mean, not ‘good’. Just- you know what I mean. So, uh, does Al know about this or…?”

                “He knows about me being Bi but not about-” he paused, realization hitting him “Wait, if you’re here where’s Al?”

                “At the train station,” she said. “He should be leaving soon but you might be able to-”

                “Right,” he nodded. “Fuck. I need to get- find every thing- where the hell is my shirt?”

                As he started to frantically pick everything up, Greed pulled him back by his belt loop of all things.

                “Hold up there, Goldilocks,” Greed said. “A pretty girl interrupts your alone time with your boyfriend, and your thought is ‘where’s my brother’?”

                “Can you fuck off?” Ed snapped.

                “Look,” he said, backing up a step. “All I’m saying is maybe don’t go running through town like a madman when we’re supposed to be hiding. But what do I know. I’m the idiot.”

                Ed glared at him, but he had to admit that he had a point. They were technically on the run and hiding out. Sprinting through town would be a bad idea. And even if it weren’t, by the time Ed could gather up everyone and everything, the train would already be long gone.

                “Fine,” Ed said, taking a breath. “I’ll just- We’ll both end up heading to Central. I’ll meet up with him there. Probably.”

                Ling took his hand, a soft reassurance. The feeling still distracted him, made him feel a bit giddy. But it was comforting too.

                Then he noticed the way Winry was staring at him. He wasn’t sure how to read her expression. She seemed upset, concerned.

                “Those are new,” Winry said, gesturing to him.

                Ed was suddenly aware that she could see the new scars on his body. He really wished he had grabbed his shirt, but it was too late for that. Instead he instinctively tried to cover what he could with his hands.

                “Yeah, that’s-,” Ed swallowed. “That’s why I didn’t meet up with you guys up north. Kinda had to deal with that.”

                Damn it. That only made her look more upset. Fuck. She looked about to cry again.

                “Look on the bright side!” Ed said, hoping to distract her. “I didn’t totally trash my arm again! Okay, Granny had to do a little fixing up, but it wasn’t destroyed!”

                “Really?” Ling sighed. “You tell her you almost died, and you’re next thought is ‘at least my arm’s fine!’?”

                “Well usually I tell her I broke it,” he shrugged.

                “Are you trying to piss her off?” Greed wondered. “Because I don’t think you should make a habit out of pissing off terrifying women.”

                “Terrifying?” Winry asked.

                She gave him an unimpressed glare, and Ed was surprised to see him actually take a step back

                “Not in a bad way!” Greed assured. “I’m mostly assuming you’re also terrifying because your grandmother is terrifying. So you know.”

                “While that’s not helping, how is Granny terrifying?” Ed asked.

                “Look, I’m going to be terrified of the old lady who can outdrink your dad,” he shrugged.

                “What does that have to do with anything?” he wondered.

                “Because of the-” he began.

                Greed stared at him, with that sort of expression of gears turning in his head. Something must’ve clicked eventually.

                “You have no idea, do you?” Greed asked.

                “About what?” Ed wondered.

                “How the hell?” he shook his head. “How don’t you know about the whole-”

                “Don’t tell him!” Winry interrupted.

                “Why the hell not?” Ed demanded. “And how the hell do you know what he’s going to say?”

                “Uh, well,” she began, glancing away. “While Al and I were traveling, we kinda ran into your dad in Liore?”

                “Of course,” he groaned, rubbing his face. “Bet that went well.”

                “I mean, Al didn’t deck him like you would’ve, so that’s good,” she shrugged. “They actually talked for a bit. And while I didn’t get all the details, I know enough to say that you need to hear that from him.”

                “Well he can go fuck himself,” he growled.

                “I don’t get it,” Greed said. “Obviously I get hating him and all. But you’re all curious and stuff and you never asked about it? You met Father, who looks exactly like him, and never thought to ask about that or any of the probably cryptic shit I’ve said because I thought you knew?

                “Of course I thought to ask,” he snapped. “I just-”

                Ed tried to find the words to explain it, but he wasn’t even entirely sure how. The subject brought up so much rage and confusion and even guilt and fear. So much all at once. It made him want to scream.

                Before he could spiral into that, he felt Ling’s hands on his face, pulling him in close.

                “Hey, it’s okay,” Ling whispered. “You don’t have to go into that right now.”

                Ed nodded, taking a breath, leaning into his touch. This was another thing he was still trying to understand. The way Ling’s attention could make him all excited and flustered one minute, but the next it was something to ground him back to reality.

                “I’m fine,” Ed said. “Not ready to unpack that can of worms.”

                “That’s okay,” Ling said. “What about the other ‘can of worms’ right now?”

                As he said it, he subtly gestured to Winry, who was just kind of staring at the two of them. And the panic was back. It wasn’t nearly as strong or confusing. But it still scared him.

                “Absolutely not,” Ed replied.

                “Are you actually not ready,” Ling asked. “Or are you just scared of what will happen? Because you know that you’ll always be nervous about it. There isn’t a perfect time, but now is better than later.”

                Ed tried to find a response to that. Goddamn it. Why did he pick now to be smart about something?

                He was right though. There was never a perfect time for things, no time when everything would be okay and he wouldn’t be terrified of discussing things. Maybe one day he’d be more comfortable talking, but that wouldn’t happen without working for it in the first place.

                “Exactly my point,” Ling said, seeing Ed’s silence as confirmation. “So I’ll let you two get to it.”

                “Wait,” Ed said, holding his hand tighter. “Can’t you stay?”

                “I could,” he admitted. “But I think that all of this is something that should be between you two first. And if it gets bad enough, I’m just downstairs, okay?”

                Taking one more shuddering breath, Ed nodded again. Ling kissed his cheek before letting go of his hand and heading to the door. Half of him wanted him to stay anyway, but the rest of him had to face this.

                Before walking out, Ling paused and said something to Winry. It was too quiet to hear what he said, but Winry seemed to jump back a little, staring between the two in surprise and turning red again.

                There were many things he could’ve said. And the almost smug grin Ling was giving him as he closed the door wasn’t helping his imagination.

                And with that, they were left alone. Only the tension of the next conversation as company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a lot longer, but between being distracted with other projects, wanting to post something for FMA Day, and the fact that the actual talk is going to get long as hell, I decided to stop here.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go!  
> If y'all have read Shenanigan and a Half, you might notice some reoccurring themes here. And maybe some reoccurring jokes.   
> I am going to mention now that, while it has been tagged since it hasn't come up yet, the endgame ship will be an EdLing/EdWin polyship. 
> 
> Also, one of my favorite things in this is that a chunk of Greed being an idiot is because he knows the Main Plot, but doesn't know about anyone's subplots. And he assumes that everyone else knows the Main Plot too.


End file.
